The Kinsmans

Thanksgiving/ My Big 4 Year Old!

2012-01-11T20:15:00.000-08:00

This year my cutsie Ellie's birthday was on Thanksgiving. My girl turned FOUR YEARS OLD! Eeeek a whole 48 months! teehee

Makes me feel so old. A 4 year old and an almost 2 month old. What the?! When did this happen? Me? All growed up.

I really wanted to make this birthday special for Ellie. I felt like it was so unfair for her to celebrate her birthday without all her cousins and ANOTHER birthday without her dad. So I wanted to do everything I could to make it extra fun.
I blew up tons of balloons and put them in her room while she was sleeping. I bought like 3 bags of balloons thinking I could totally blow them all up and really fill up her room. Ah geeze. Seriously? What was I thinking? I think I blew up MAYBE 20 out of the 150 balloons and called it a night with a massive headache. Ellie of course snuck into my bed in the middle of the night. The next morning when we went in her room to get her dressed for the day she said, "Mom why did you put all these balloons in my room?"
I told her, "Well your the birthday girl so I thought you would love all the balloons to wake up to."
"Well they scared me."
FAIL. hahaha
When I asked Ellie what she wanted for her birthday she said she wanted a make over. Oh my goodness what 4 year old asks for a make over? She said she wanted to get her hair done and put on make up and then go get her nails painted.
So I let her pick out her outfit and did her hair all fancy. No make up though. She's really killing me with that. We still need to get our nails did. All day Ellie referred to herself as 'the birthday girl'.

After she got all prettied up we got on 'skype' so daddy could watch her open some presents. We got her the Leap Pad Explorer. She LOOOOOVES it. I had to hunt that thing down. Bad thing about your kids birthday being so close to christmas. When we first decided to get it for her I saw it at Target and they had like 20 so I went home planning on buying it for her the next day when I could have her stay at a friends house while I bought it. Went to the store the very next day, COMPLETELY gone. Went to TWO walmarts, and kmart, while Jordon looked on the internet. GONE. Everywhere even on the internet. A guy at target told me they were expecting to get more the next day so I went to Target first thing in the morning and there were only 2 left. Goodness. The things we do for our kids. ha. It makes me feel less guilty when she plays on it all the time cause she is actually learning something.
Then we had our Thanksgiving with another wife whose husband is deployed and her little boy.
That night I asked her if she had a good birthday and she said she loved it because we played together as a family. Such a stinkin cutie.

1 Month Nolah

2011-11-15T20:03:00.000-08:00

Nolah turned 1 month on the 9th. I can't believe it has already been a whole month. She has kept me pretty dang busy.
We are still breastfeeding, probably about every hour. I honestly don't even attempt to keep a schedule. If she acts hungry I'm gonna feed the poor girl. At night time Nolah likes to eat like she is getting ready for hibernation so I nurse her on both sides and then feed her about 4 oz of formula. Seriously is that normal for a 1 month old? She eats SOO dang much. She was weighed at the doctors about 2 weeks ago and was at 10lbs 5oz and I guarantee she has gained at least another pound since then. She's a big gal and I freakin love it. She got thrush a couple weeks ago and passed it on to me and we almost gave up on the breastfeeding cause that crap hurts. She and I got some medicine for it and it cleared up but its making its comeback on the both us. :/ yay. She wears mostly 3 month clothing. I can squeeze her chub in some newborn onesies without them being skin tight.

She loves:

Staring at Daddy when we 'skype'

Listening to her big sis sing to her

The sound of the shower running

Having her momma hold her with her head laying on my shoulder and walking around. all. day.

When momma eats her toesies. She wants to giggle so bad. Cutest thing. EVER.

The boppy pillow.

Bath Time.

Kisses

Mommas boobs. Lets be honest they are basically #1

She Hates:

The Car.

Going Shopping.

Binkys. Whenever I put one in her mouth she looks at me like OMG mom really? Gimme the real thing!

Getting her bum changed.

But I think she hates sitting in a poopy/wet diaper more.

Changing her clothes.

Being cold.

Nolah is ridiculously cute and I don't think I will ever be able to get over just how cute she is. She is very temper-mental though. But dangit I just can never say no to her.

Someday when I have time I will put up some more pictures. But for now you get this silly one cause it makes me giggle.

Never Enough

2011-11-06T19:47:00.000-08:00

I get swept up in the moment of things. I never think to stop and take pictures. My mind is fully into what is happening around me, and with that I end up with zero pictures to bring me back to that moment later on down the road.
I tried my hardest to remember to take lots of pictures after I had Nolah. Especially pictures of Jordon with his girls. But again I got swept up in the moment and just spent every second I had soaking up my family being together for the short time we had.
All the pictures I did happen to get were all cell phone pictures and a majority of them blurry. But I still love them and I will cherish them especially during the months ahead. I am kicking myself now that I didn't get more.

The days after I had Nolah and before Jordon deployed were amazing. Everything just felt so perfect. We had a beautiful and healthy new baby girl. Nolah was a champ at breastfeeding. I was healing perfectly. Ellie loved her new role as big sister. We had no worries besides that one thing that we just kept pushing to the back of our minds and promising each other to not bring it up.
But of course that dreaded day came to fast, and we had to say good bye to Jordon. By far one of the hardest things I have ever done. It makes my stomach physically sick to know that he wont be around for a whole year. Its been over 3 weeks since he has left and I'm starting to do a little better. Your brain really does switch to survival mode and you kind of just become numb. Its always the hardest at dinner time, or whenever I hear the neighbors garage door open. But Ellie and Nolah have been keeping me pretty busy. We have been working on sort of getting a routine together. Nolah just wants to eat and eat and eat so its hard splitting my attention between her and Ellie. Im worried that Ellie will feel pushed aside. But we will eventually get the hang of things I'm sure. We have a lot of adjusting to do. For now we are just taking one day at a time.

Then Came Nolah

2011-10-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

*If you don't want to read all the delish details or see extremely cute pictures of me then please do not read*

8 long days over due and we finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

I was scheduled to be induced October 8th. Of course I thought FOR SURE baby girl would decide to come before then. I did not want to be induced and Jordon and I tried everything we could to get this labor going on its own. Seriously everything. I had my membranes stripped 4 times, I did everything while bouncing on an exercise ball. We went on long walks everyday and Ellie and I would see who could skip the farthest. (Ellie won every time.) I drank red raspberry leaf tea all the time. I even tried castor oil, all it did was make me throw up. The list goes on and on.

October 8th came and no sign of labor. I took advantage of knowing ahead of time of when we would have the baby so I made sure my legs were nice and shaven, the house sparkly clean, and got all prettied up before hand. I was to call the hospital first thing in the morning to make sure there was room available.
Gave the hospital a phone call. NO beds available. Apparently it was 'everyone have a baby all at once' week. They were to busy to get me in at the moment and said they would give me a call when things calmed down.
Jordon and I were beyond devastated. I cried all day just awaiting that phone call. At 4:00 pm they finally called! I was to be at the hospital by 6:00. I couldn't believe that we were actually going to have our baby!!

We got to the hospital and the nurse took us to our room to get us all settled. Our first nurse was very talkative. First she was talking about tv shows and the actors she loves. Then somehow the subject got switched to Obama and how she likes him. Ohh noo. I kept looking over at Jordon trying to tell him with my eyes to just TRY and not get into a big argument. He made sure she knew how he felt about him without getting to crazy and everything was good. PHEW. She was an awesome nurse though and Jordon and I both really liked her.
My doctor and nurse that would be with me throughout the labor came in to check me and get things started. I was 3 cm dilated. Progress from my 2cm I was stuck at forever. We discussed about how I wanted to keep things as natural as possible. Apparently the doctor I had hasn't done many un-medicated births and kinda looked at me like I was a tad bit crazy. My nurse was awesome though. She told him that when I was dilated to a 4 or 5 she wanted to turn off the pitocin and possibly break my water so my body could keep progressing on its own and that way I could get in the bath tub to manage the pain. Then the doctor looked at the nurse like she was crazy. He told us he would only let me get in the tub if I promised I wouldn't deliver in the tub because that just weirded him out. The nurse told him to just leave and she had everything handled. It was hilarious. I loved that my nurse was willing to do everything she could so I could have the birth I wanted. It made things a lot easier.

They started the pitocin around 7pm and gradually increased it about every hour for 3 hours. I could feel the contractions but defiantly weren't painful. Jordon and I watched some TV and tried to get some sleep while we still could. At around 1am my nurse came in to see if I progressed any. I was still at a 3. So I slept some more and around 3am the contractions woke me up. My nurse gave me a birthing ball to sit on and work through the contractions. We turned on the music and Jordon sat on the edge of the bed while I bounced on the ball and held his hands. The contractions were starting to get intense and it was getting extremely hard to work through them. I do think the ball and the music helped a lot.
When I would read about other unmedicated birth stories I would always read about how they would hit this wall where they just wanted to give in. I defiantly hit that wall.

I started crying and telling Jordon that I didn't want to do this anymore and how I missed Ellie. Jordon was so amazing the whole time. I defiantly wouldn't have been able to do it without him. At 4am I gave in and asked them to come check my progress. I was soo terrified that I didn't progress any and wouldn't be able to get in the tub. The nurse checked me and said Holy cow you flew! Your already 7 cm!
Halle-freakin-llujah
She turned off the pitocin and started the tub. I had to wait 15 minutes before I could get in the tub to make sure I was still contracting on my own.

My contractions kept up and I was finally able to get in. INSTANT relief. I'm not even kidding you. It felt soo amazing. Jordon kept cracking up seeing how happy I was after I got in the tub.
I went from bawling my eyes out and being completely hysterical to laughing and joking around.
They turned off all the lights besides one and for the next hour or so I relaxed in the tub while Jordon sat beside it and continued holding my hand and putting cool washcloths on my forehead. It was perfect. The contractions were still painful of course but being in the tub made them so much more manageable. My nurse made me promise that when I started feeling like I needed to push that I would get out of the tub. I really didn't want to get out of the tub but when the urge to push became completely unbearable I finally gave in and got out.

My nurse checked me and said I just had a little lip of cervix left but I would probably just push past it. My water still didn't break which helped with the pain of the contractions.
I hated being on the bed. It made everything so much worse.
I was super loud. hahahaha. Apparently there was a first time momma in the room next to me that could hear everything and I was totally freakin her out.
Sorry lady!

Pushing scared the hell out of me. It was by far the hardest part. I could feel EVERY THING. I just remember thinking oh my gosh I'm not going to be able to push this baby out and she is just going to be stuck there forever! So it took me a couple pushes to get myself to give it my all. While I was pushing only my nurse was in there because my doctor was delivering a baby at the same time. I told you it was have your babies all at once week. So the nurse thought for sure she would have to deliver this baby on her own. But he came in just in time.
Ah pushing was seriously insane, I started bawling every time I could feel a contraction starting cause I knew I would have to push again. Just thinking about it makes me want to start crying all over again and never ever ever have another baby. But of course I know that someday I will. Thankfully my nurse and my AMAZING husband were the best supporters ever in the world and helped me get through it. It felt like I was pushing forever but it was only about 15 minutes.
The nurse kept saying she had so much dark hair and that was defiantly a motivator to push harder cause i defiantly didn't believe her. Then her head started coming out and I reached down to touch her, oh my goodness what a weird weird feeling.
The doctor and the nurse said Nolah was moving around all over the place. She kept twisting side to side and totally trying to go back inside! Everyone was cracking up. Besides me of course. They said they have never seen a baby do that before. (Nolah really didn't want to come out and she fought it to the bitter end) Then on October 9th at 6:19am we finally got that little stinker out and they laid her on my tummy. She was absolutely perfect! and she really did have tons of dark hair! Jordon and I cried and cried. I can't even describe how amazing that moment was.

Jordon got to cut the umbilical cord which totally shocked me cause he swore up and down he would never do that. It was all soo perfect.

*I got nice and shweaty*

They took Nolah to weigh her and clean her up a bit while they stitched me up. My doctor was saying I probably wouldn't have torn if I didn't get an episiotomy when I had Ellie.

When they were weighing Nolah the nurse asked what our guesses were on how much she weighed. I said 7lbs and Jordon said 7lbs 6oz. The nurse started laughing, little did we know I just gave birth to a 9lb 2oz baby girl! We were shocked!

Everyone left us alone for awhile and let us spend sometime with our sweet new baby girl. I was still in shock that this little chubba just came out of me.

Jordon had another little girl steal his heart.

He said he watched everything and was so glad that he did.

He was so amazing throughout the entire thing.

I love him so much!

The nurse that helped me through the birth came in to say bye to us cause her shift was long over. She stayed later than she was suppose to to be there with me. After she left another nurse came in and told us we made facebook. haha She said our nurse posted on her profile how she just had the best delivery and this is why she loved her job. I thought it was so sweet of her.
All the sweet stuff came to a pause for bit when the nurse came back in to check on my bleeding since I had a previous hemorrhage with Ellie. She started pushing on my stomach and blood gushed out everywhere. Yummy. I was starting to hemorrhage again. But thankfully they caught it soon enough and put me on pitocin to get my uterus contracting again. They also gave me a nice shot in the booty. The nurse had to keep coming back in to beat the crap out of me. Seriously I would much rather push a baby out again then have them push on your stomach like they do. I screamed every time she did it and I'm pretty sure I made her start crying cause she felt so bad.
But they eventually got my bleeding under control.
I still felt a million times better than I did when I had Ellie. I was able to get up and walk around on my own and I never got dizzy or light headed.
We were able to leave the hospital the next day. I'm so amazed by how good I felt. I only had to take the ibuprofen a couple times.
Comparing this birth and recovery to my first one they are complete opposites. The fact that with my first delivery I had a 6lb 9oz baby and had the hardest time recovering and my second was a 9lb 2oz baby and I feel amazing afterwards just proves to me that having an unmedicated birth is how my body was meant to give birth.
I couldn't have asked for a better birth experience.
I feel so blessed that everything went so well. It was the perfect experience to share with Jordon before he left to Afghanistan. It brought us so much closer as a family.
We were able to spend 5 short days together as a family before Jordon left on his deployment.

Nolah Laree Kinsman

2011-10-11T17:35:00.000-07:00

She is finally here!

Nolah Laree Kinsman

October 9, 2011

at 6:19 am

9lbs 2oz

22 inches long

She is perfect.

Everything went amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better labor delivery and recovery.

We are absolutely in love with this girl.

The Finish Line

2011-10-07T13:12:00.000-07:00

I have made it to 41 weeks! and I can't help but be completely depressed that I can say that. Yes I know its completely normal to go over your due date. I would be totally fine with going another week if my husband wasn't leaving next Friday. Every day that passes by without this baby coming out is a day less her dad gets to see her. Every time Jordon comes home from work he asks if anything is happening and every time I have to say no and I see his heart break a little each time. It absolutely kills me.

I have not dilated any more since my 36 week appointment. Although I have thinned out more and her head has moved down more. I have had my membranes stripped 4 times. I haven't had anything that feels like contractions in over 2 weeks. I have tried just about everything you can think of to get labor going. So I have had to give in and schedule an induction date. They scheduled me to go in tomorrow, but my doctor said they have been completely swamped and there is very little chance that they will be able to get me in unless I go into labor on my own of course. I'm really upset that I have to be induced. I know lots of people have it done but I just don't feel comfortable with it.
This pregnancy just hasn't gone at all how I was hoping.
41 weeks of pregnancy sure does make your emotions a little crazy.
Last night Jordon and I had a nice long talk about everything and he gave me a blessing and I defiantly think it helped me come to terms with everything. Everything happens for a reason and I know I need to accept the things I cannot control. This baby girl will come into this world when and how she was meant to. Hey I could still go into labor tonight who knows!

40 weeks 5 days

We have everything ready. Our bags are packed, laundry is all done, house cleaned, and I even made some freezer dinners. I'm so proud of myself. Now hopefully the clean house and laundry will last until we go to the hospital.

The 5th was Jordon and I's 4 year anniversary! We didn't do anything special, just went to a pretty depressing doctor's appointment. But we went on a nice long walk and just spent some time together and that was enough for me. I love that ridiculously handsome man. He is such an amazing husband/father/person. He has grown more this past year than he has since I have known him. I think we both have. I can't exactly say I'm looking forward to the year ahead of us but I love the way our life together is turning out. I know this coming year will be one of the hardest if not THE hardest year for us but I know we will come out of this stronger and closer than before. I am married to the man of my dreams and I will do whatever I need to to show him that I will always be there for him.
I love you Jordon!!

Happy Due Date! :S

2011-09-30T19:16:00.000-07:00

ah Yes, today is my 'due' date. No baby. I chose not to be induced until after 41 weeks. Like I said before I really don't want to be induced. I'm still dilated to a 2. At my 40 week appointment they said my cervix is a lot more softer and starting to move forward. I didn't know it did that? Also baby's head is even lower and my doctor said that when she does decide to come she should come pretty fast. I'm hanging on to that hope. OH p.s I have had my membranes stripped 3 times.. Yeah if your baby isn't ready to come your baby ISN'T going to come.

I
am
a
mess.

I cry at the drop of a hat. Not just because I'm very pregnant and very miserable, but also because everything that is going on is really sinking in and reality is hitting me hard and all these crazy hormones sure aren't helping.
My husband is leaving soon. We wont be together again for a whole year.. Yes there is R and R but does 2 weeks really compare to the amount of the time that he is gone?? I have been stressing big time about how Ellie will handle everything. I pray that I will be able to keep her somewhat busy. It wont matter how busy she is she will always want her daddy but hopefully it will make things a little easier for her.

Our anniversary is on the 5th. 4 years baby! A new baby would be the PERFECT anniversary present. Although it would be an even better present if she came before that and we are able to be home for our anniversary and not at a hospital. But ya know beggars can't be choosers.

I've been getting a little teary eyed that Ellie isn't going to be our baby anymore. I think Jordon has been having a hard time about it too. One night after Ellie was asleep Jordon kept going in Ellie's room and checking on her. Then he came in our room and asked, "Can Ellie come sleep in our bed? I need some Ellie time." It was the stinkin cutest thing ever. Jordon is a major anti-kids sleeping in our bed. But he went and woke her up and put her in our bed so they could get some snuggles in. I love seeing him be a dad. It is my most favorite thing in the whole world.

No belly pics for now... Im not really feeling it at the moment. But don't worry I will get one so everyone can tell me just how ginormous I am. Ha.
Keep sending those good vibes that this baby will come soon!

Did The Baby Pop Out Yet??

2011-09-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

NOPE.

Someday maybe.

Had my 38 week appointment last Friday. I was suppose to have it on Thursday but my husband forgot about it and never came home from work and wouldn't answer his phone. Yeah can you even imagine how furious I was?! I was bawling my freakin eyes out. A little over the top? Yeah. But I'm pregnant..
Luckily the Doctor's office was able to squeeze me in the next day. I think the lady felt bad cause I was totally crying over the phone.
Good stuff.

Well here's the goods from my doctors appointment. 2cm dilated. PROGRESS! I was only 2cm when I went into labor with Ellie. About 60% effaced. Cervix is nice and soft and everything looks ready to go.(According to my doctor) Had my membranes stripped. Thought I was going to cry it hurt so bad. Apparently my cervix is all the way in the back so it was hard for her to really get in there!! But oh she did.. I thought for sure after going through that I would at least deserve to go into labor that weekend. No luck. I was contracting all day Friday and I made sure I walked around a ton and all that good stuff to keep them going but nighttime came around and everything completely stopped. My mind was going a million miles a minute and I had so much energy for some reason and I could not get to sleep that night. I didn't fall asleep until 6 in the morning. It was fabulous.

Ellie giving her sister loves, and trying to convince her to come out.

Jordon finally got his official orders for deployment. lame. But good news is he isn't leaving right after my due date like we thought. He will have an extra week or two if this babes decides to come on time. Its nice to finally have a date to help prepare myself. It also makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about it so thats cool.

I'm so anxious to get this baby out so Jordon can have as much time as possible with her but apparently its up to her. whateve.

TURKEYS DONE!

Nothing fits anymore, not even my maternity shirts.

We have just about everything ready for this baby sooo she should just COME OUT ALREADY! If everyone could just send me some good vibes that she will come soon that would be great. Other than really wanting her out I have been feeling pretty decent. Although me and Ellie got a nice little cold today. Hopefully it will go away soon.

In other news our nice and quiet upstairs neighbors moved. :( I'm very nervous to see who moves in next. Hopefully someone quiet because with a new baby I wont be holding my complaints back.

The New Big Sis

2011-09-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to do something for Ellie when I have the baby. Just a little something that we can give her when she meets her new baby sis. Something to help celebrate her becoming a big sister. Also so she wont feel left out with the attention of the new baby.
But I just don't know what I should do.. I have thought about making Ellie and Nolah little matching bracelets and big sis lil sis shirts, but not sure if that will get done before the babes comes.
So if anyone has any super cute ideas to share I'm all ears!

September!

2011-09-04T20:16:00.000-07:00

It's September!!!!!

That means that sometime this month we will have a new baby girl in our lil fam!

I had my ultrasound and doc appointment this past week.

The ultrasound was so fun and made me super excited for her to come.

The babes is surely a girl, and she is very very wiggley.

The ultrasound tech was cracking up about how wiggley she was.

It was hard to get a really good profile of her face but when we finally did she had her hands up by her eyes and it made her look like she was rubbin her eyes.

So cute.

Either she has the best pouty face ever or this baby girl has some gigantic lips.

I can't wait to see what she looks like.

She is measuring perfectly. The doc said she is measuring in the 58%.

She asked how big Ellie was when she was born and said that she defiantly thinks this baby will be bigger! Ellie was 6lbs 9oz.

35 weeks

I am 1cm dilated and doc said her head is really really low.

I was super excited to hear that her head was low because every time someone would check me with Ellie the first thing they would say was HOLY COW her head is WAAAY up in there. Ellie defiantly made me do all the work.

So I'm crossing my fingers that this will make my labor a lot faster!

At my 38 week appointment they are going to strip my membranes, hopefully it will work like magic and put me into labor.

I can't believe we are so close!

I defiantly don't have everything ready and probably should get on that..

I want her to be here already but I don't.

I'm getting nervous!

I love my gigantic belly even though its making life miserable.

Jordon isn't even nervous at all.

It kinda makes me wanna punch him.

He said as long as I have the baby in the hospital he is fine and dandy.

36 weeks

4 more weeks to go!

35 weeks

2011-08-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

Not much longer to go!
I can't believe how fast this pregnancy flew by. Its insane.
I had a doctors appointment a week or so ago. (oh btw I passed my kidney stone 2 weeks ago. HALLELUJAH. Instant pain relief. Nolah started freaking out right on my bladder and no matter what I did she would not stop, so I thought maybe if I tried to go potty that would get her to stop. Out went my kidney stone. I give the credit to Nolah for beating the stone out of me.)
Doctor said everything is so far so good. We talked about Jordon leaving right around my due date and they said that if I haven't had the baby by 39-40 weeks they will induce me. I really really REALLY do not want to be induced, but I just can't handle the thought of Jordon just barely missing the birth of his baby. Hopefully the babes will decided to come just a wee bit early. Apparently I'm measuring small. HA HA! I'm only measuring at 30 weeks instead of 34 (at the time of the appointment) My doctor said the baby defiantly doesn't feel small but we will just say she does so I can get another ultrasound. Which I'm totally fine with of course! :) So I have my ultrasound today, I'm pretty excited. Then later this week I have my 36 week appointment. Gosh so crazy.
Now that I am no longer in pain from my kidney I'm just in pain from pregnancy. My legs have started to go numb. It is hard work to try and get sleep. My belly is so HEAVY! and It seriously feels like my belly button is going to rip open. It burns so bad. Started getting stretch marks :( dang. But they still are really light so hopefully they will fade after I have the baby. I'm crossing my fingers. I have contractions ALL THE TIME. And they aren't little ones either. They take the breath out of me every now and then. As much as I wish I could just be done with this pregnancy at the moment I really do not want her to come to early. Pregnancy is crazy but I love it.

2011-08-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

During all this craziness that has been happening lately it has become very apparent that we have some of the most amazing people in our lives right now.
When Jordon took me to the hospital it was getting late at night, and we had to find someone that could watch Ellie.
Our amazing friends Brettin and Doug gladly took her for the night, and when we found out I would be staying longer than expected they took her without hesitation.
It was such a relief knowing that Ellie was in good hands while we hit our rough spot.
While I had my little stay at the hospital another one of our friends that Jordon works with came and brought me flowers from everyone in Jordon's platoon. I thought that was the sweetest thing ever to know that they were thinking of us. I started bawling.
Then to top it all off Brettin threw us a baby shower. People in Jordon's platoon pitched in money to buy us things they knew we needed for the baby. We got pretty stinkin spoiled.
When we moved here I was so worried about all the little things that could possibly happen where we would need to lean on some one else to help us out. I defiantly don't worry about that now.
We are so blessed to have these amazing people in our lives.
As much as I hate Jordon being in the Army, all the people that it has brought into our lives defiantly makes up for it. Any of the other jobs that Jordon has had defiantly wouldn't have taken the time to bring flowers to his wife while in the hospital, and defiantly wouldn't help throw a baby shower for us.
Jordon defiantly got lucky with the company he was put in. They are all so close and it defiantly makes me feel better about him leaving to Afghanistan with them.
I am so so so grateful, I just can't say it enough.

2011-08-11T11:13:00.000-07:00

Well about two weeks ago I was counting my blessings about how much I was enjoying my pregnancy and how sad I was going to be when it is over. Fast forward to last Tuesday and I noticed a lot of blood in my pee. I wasn't in pain or anything but it defiantly worried me, so first thing Wednesday morning I called my doctor's office and they had me go into the clinic to take a pee test. As soon as I got home from taking the test I had the most excruciating pain in my back. I could barely even move. By the time Jordon came home from work the pain was so bad it felt like I couldn't even breath. I started puking from the pain. I kept calling the doctor's office and they said since I had a doctor's appointment the next day I should just wait it out. I tried my hardest and lasted till about 9 at night and gave in and called the emergency number I had and they gave me the go ahead to come on in to labor and delivery.
They said that it looked like I had a kidney stone but wasn't showing any sign of an infection. They monitored baby N's heartbeat and she was as happy as can be. Thank goodness. They gave me some morphine for the pain and I could finally breathe again. After a while they noticed I was contracting a bit and decided to keep me over night. Everything eventually calmed down though. The next day they gave me an ultrasound of my kidneys. Lamest ultrasound ever. Not only did they not even look at the babes they had the screen turned away from me so I couldn't see anything, so I slept the entire time.
They said they could defiantly see that something was going on with my kidney but couldn't see a stone but said that was normal. :/
So after staying another night to see if I would pass a stone and to get my pain under control they sent me home. Apparently when your pregnant and have a kidney stone you just get to play the waiting game. The only thing they can do to help you is manage the pain. Its been a week now and nothing has changed. I'm still in the worse freakin pain. All I do is sit on the couch and sleep and cry. Its totally lame. Who knows how long this stupid thing is going to last but I'm sooooo over it. We have about a million bajillion things going on right now and I can't get anything done.
Seriously, never get a kidney stone. Worse pain ever. No joke. But I am so very thankful that Nolah is doing perfectly fine.

Stylish Girl

2011-07-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

Ellie is seriously the funnest to hang out with.(when she isn't talking back) Last weekend we went to the county fair. It was Ellie's first time going to anything like that so she was pretty stinkin' excited to go on all the rides. I of course couldn't go on any rides but I think I had just as much fun if not more watching her and her Daddy go on the rides. Jordon talked Ellie into going on one of the more scary rides. (ya know the one that looks like a big ship and goes back and forth really high??) At first Ellie was enjoying herself until the ride started getting really high and making her tummy do flip flops and then she started freaking out a bit. Oh my goodness she had the saddest face. I was dying. I was seriously tempted to tell the guy to stop the ride, it was breaking my heart. But she survived. Phew.
Then Ellie and I had to get our faces painted. Ellie had to get the one with the blue lips. We tried talking her out of it but she would not change her mind. It was so cute watching her get her face painted. She just sat there and let the lady do her thing. I could tell it was killing Jordon. He is anti anything that looks like make-up. hahha He is going to be so fun when she is a teenager. The lady that was painting Ellie's face couldn't get enough of Ellie. They even got a picture of her for their portfolio thing. Everyone kept telling Ellie how cute she looked and Ellie ATE IT UP. She would just stand there with a shy smile putting her head to her shoulder. She made Jordon take a million pictures of her so she could keep looking at them.
She was non-stop at the fair. She wanted to do anything and everything and since she was being so dang cute we pretty much let her. We stayed at the fair until midnight. Ellie is a party animal.
That's the downside of when she is being so cute and fun we can't say no to her. (Especially Jordon)
She makes me soo excited to have another girl. I love her guts and I hope her sister is exactly like her. (besides when she is a smart mouth..)

MaMa's Milk

2011-07-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

I am bound and determined to breastfeed Nolah.

It didn't work out very well if Ellie, and I defiantly regret not trying harder.

I'm sad that we didn't get that bonding time.

First off I had no idea what I was doing when attempting to breastfeed Ellie.

Honestly when I would breastfeed it was the most painful thing ever,

and I was already having a way hard time with recovering from the delivery that I threw in the towel after 2 weeks of trying.
But now I am (hopefully) a lot more educated on the subject.
But I could still use some pointers. So any breastfeeding mama's if you have any tips or tricks or products that saved you please fill me in!

I am now 29 weeks pregnant!
11 more to go.
I filled out my pre-registration papers for the hospital..
It freaked me out a bit, not gonna lie..
Nolah is growing like crazy and I have gained 14 lbs so far.
Sheesh.
Everything is looking good so far.
Besides the no sleep and being extremely grumpy.
My Doctor prescribed me some heartburn medicine and it has saved my life.
But really for the most part I have enjoyed being pregnant.
Ellie is getting really impatient though. Everyday she asks me if I'm having the baby today.
I'm so excited to see her be a big sister!

Nolah now has a deadline of when she needs to come if she wants to meet her daddy!
Hopefully she will make it. Fingers crossed.
Can I just say that so far my husband being in the military gets a big fat thumbs down!

Ellie Talk 101

2011-07-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

Ellie makes up the funniest words. I love it, I always get so sad when she starts to say the right word for things instead of saying one of her made up words. Here are just a few.

My favorite would have to be 'skellup' which she says for skeleton. It sounds even better when she says it in her cute voice.
Instead of bleeding she will say blooding. "Ah mom I'm blooding! I'm blooding all over! Hurry get me a band-aid." I'll check on her and she will have a tiny red scratch.. no blooding. Drama Queen.
Zippers are zits/pimples. She loves pointing out the zippers on my face.
Freckers are freckles. We try not to say that one cause when she says it, it sometimes sounds like a different word... :/
Jordon's sunburn was peeling and Ellie called it Cricky skin.
She makes up words all the time, I need to remember to write them down. These are just her regulars.

Utah

2011-07-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

Well I took a grand total of ZERO pictures while we were in Utah. I know Jordon's mom got some so I will have to try and steal some from her.
I have been terrible at taking pictures lately.
Anyways our trip to Utah was fun. A lot of things didn't go according to plan but ya know whateve. Do they ever? It was nice seeing everyone for 5 seconds. It went by so fast.
Ellie was non stop the entire time. She would go to bed around 10 pm (midnight our time) and wake up around 7 am (5 am our time) and just go go go all day. She defiantly got her play time in. She was grumpy beyond belief but if we just let her go play with cousins she was fine and dandy. It was when we told her she needed to eat or drink something she would fall apart.
I'm sad to say that the only places I checked off my food list was Cafe Rio and Chicken Express. I'm a little upset about it I'm not going to lie.
A week is defiantly not long enough to visit with everyone. But I hope Jordon was able to get his fill of family before he deploys.
It was a good practice trip so we know how to deal with things better for next time!
The plane ride home was a killer. All night flight. With 2 layovers one being 3 hours in between flights. Not to mention airplane seats are sooo not comfortable even if your not pregnant. SO I got zero sleep. Ellie slept the whole way on one of the plane rides but when she woke up she was screaming bloody murder because her ears needed to pop. Poor thing, broke my heart. But I'm sure everyone else on the plane loved the alarm clock!
Me and Ellie made up for the crappy nights sleep the next morning by sleeping in until 12 in the afternoon.
I sure do miss everyone!!!

and Breathe

2011-06-14T12:36:00.000-07:00

Crazy lil' tidbit: I was this far along in my pregnancy with Ellie when we finally told our parents.

I defiantly wouldn't have been able to hide this pregnancy!

Time is going by too fast.

I was really banking on this pregnancy making time go by nice and slow.

September seems right around the corner.

The sooner this baby gets here the sooner Jordon deploys.

So I'm perfectly fine with time crawling by.

Jordon's company is deploying in late September.

Good news is that since that is when I'm due Jordon will be a late deployer.

He will get at least 10 days with us after Nolah is born. Hopefully.

They haven't given us any details yet and probably wont until.. September.

But I have been trying super hard to not even think about it.

I have defiantly accepted that this is how it has to be and there is no use letting

it ruin the time we do have together.

So the hospital I'm suppose to deliver at defiantly doesn't have a good reputation. I was talking to my midwife at my last appointment just asking her about my options about delivery.

I told her I wanted everything as natural as possible and didn't want to have to stay in the bed or anything like that. She told me that I would be allowed to move around as much as I wanted and that they have jacuzzi tubs in some birth rooms. She told me that I would be left alone as much as I wanted.

So I was feeling pretty good about everything.

I started doing some research about the hospital because ever since we moved here I heard not so good things about it. I found a whole bunch of ratings about the hospital and none of them were good. All of them talked about how terrible the nurses were, especially in labor and delivery.

Our friend told us a story of their friend that went there to get a cyst removed and ended up with staph infection from the hospital and basically cutting all his stinkin skin off his arm to try and get rid of the infection.

Yeah... not really wanting to have my baby there. At all.

I have searched and searched for any birth centers or anything like that near by and can't find anything.

The only hospital I have heard good things about is the Syracuse hospital and that is an hour and a half drive. Gahh! I don't know what to do!

I have tried to convince Jordon into letting me have the baby at home and he can just deliver Nolah but he isn't really feelin that. hahaha

I'm starting to get nervous about giving birth. I'm not scared of the pain or anything I just know that I have way to high of expectations of how I want everything to happen since it will be the last big event before Jordon leaves for a year, so I'm just scared that it will go nothing like I'm hoping.

And going to a crappy hospital that no one has anything good to say about, I'm sure will put a damper on things.

I need some advice people.

I don't know anyone that has given birth here.

Goodness. I'm trying not to worry about it so much but we do have a time limit here!

1 more week till we go to Utah. Hopefully that will help me relax and figure things out better.

Happy Times

2011-06-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

Jordon has been dreaming of being an awesome fisherman since we moved here. So as soon as the weather started warming up we picked him up a fishing pole and got him a fishing license.
Our first attempt at fishing was a sad day. Apparently we have no idea what we are doing. We were in an area that had quite a bit of people around. About every five minutes someone was pulling out a fish and not just baby fish, HUGE stinkin fish. One guy caught a fish, I kid you not, the size of Ellie. Jordon was feelin' good about this spot because obviously there was no shortage of fish. We try for a good two hours, with a total catch of 0 fish. Jordon was devastated.
We gave fishing another go this past weekend. Jordon tried to work his magic for about an hour with only nibbles. I asked him if I could give it a try and as soon as I put my line in the water I caught a fish. Jordon was furious. hahahhaha poor guy I felt so bad.
He gave it another go with no such success while I went off with Ellie for a bit. I joined him again, picked up a fishing pole, put out my line, and caught another fish.
Jordon was livid and said, "I'm not even helping you get the fish off that line. You have to do it all by yourself." I whined and told him I didn't know how to do it and was to much of a baby to touch the fish. He replied, "I don't even care, if your going to be catching stupid fish all the time you need to learn to do it on your own."
So my stinky husband made me take the hook out of the fishes mouth and put him back in the water all by myself.

We fished for awhile longer and FINALLY Jordon's curse was broken and he caught his very own fish. He was so proud of himself. But through the day he kept informing me he was still mad at me for beating him at fishing.
hahaha I love that cutie butt.

Palmyra

2011-06-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

For Memorial weekend we took a little trip to Palmyra since it's only two hours away. We went to the Joseph Smith house and The Sacred Grove. Seriously the most gorgeous place. Everyone should go visit, best experience ever.

The Sacred Grove was exactly how I always pictured it.

I can't wait to go there again and again and again!

I would have gotten a lot more pictures but allergies decided to attack my face. I have never gotten real allergies before. Every once in awhile in the spring time my nose would get runny for a couple days but that was it. This time I was coughing, sneezing, nose running like a faucet, and my eyes were watering like there was no tomorrow. But I still had a lot of fun. Hopefully next time that wont happen so we can spend more time there.

22

2011-06-01T07:45:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I'm standing retarded in this picture cause I swear my belly really looks twice this size.

Had a doctor's appointment yesterday to talk about my ultrasound.

Nolah looks perfect!

Gained 7lbs from my last doctor's appointment... That's rad :/

Seriously this gal is not wasting any time getting HUGE!

Finally got some maternity clothes. Sooo much more comfortable. But of course they didn't have any capri's in my size. Anyone know of anywhere that sales maternity bermuda shorts or anything like that in xs?

Baby Nolah

2011-05-22T15:33:00.000-07:00

We are officially past the half-way mark of meeting this gal.

I think we finally picked a name too!!

WOO HOO!

I really didn't think we would have a name picked out until the day she was born.

But I made it my mission to look up pretty much every name there is and find one that Jordon and I both can agree on.

Nolah Laree Kinsman

I love love love it!

Jordon really likes it too so hopefully this name will stick.

Ellie says anilla, like vanilla without the v.

I don't really know why cause she will say Nolah sometimes.

But whatever works!

Baby Nolah FREAKS whenever I put something on my belly. She will keep hitting it until I move it off.

I can only wear my pre-pregnancy jeans with my belly bands. If I try to suck it in and button them Oh no Nolah will not have it.

It's pretty hilarious really. Sometimes I will purposely set something on my belly just to watch her freak. Jordon thinks I'm the meanest person ever.

I'm not putting anything heavy on my belly I will just set my phone on it and she will start kicking away.

I LOVE all the delicious 'summer' type foods we eat now.

We just bought a grill and grilled up some amazing turkey burgers and veggies and my belly is HAPPY.

Don't even get me started on watermelon.. Ahhh best thing ever.

I have been feeling sooo much better. I have energy now and haven't thrown up in awhile.

My only complaint is terrible lower back pain and crazy heartburn.

I love having my energy back. Our house is gradually getting clean again.

I'm also starting to get a little craft itch too.

Hopefully I can get some cute ideas for Ellie and Nolah.

That pretty much sums up the pregnancy so far.

Keep me outside in the sunshine and delicious food in my belly and I see one happy pregnancy ahead of me. :):):)

House Full

2011-05-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

Obviously I have terrible instincts!

I should have known Miss Ellie would get her wish.

Yes we are expecting a baby GIRL!

This little gal in my tummy is a STINKER!

While at my ultrasound she had her leggies squeezed shut!

She was not going to let anyone see her bizz.

The tech had me lay about a billion different ways to try and get a view.

Then the tech finally gets a picture of what this babe is trying to hide and the tech tells us,

"I'm not allowed to tell you whether its a boy or girl I can only show you the picture."

Oh man I almost started cussin' up a storm.

I told her, "No your kidding. Just tell us."

She proceeded to tell us that if she told us what the sex was she would get in trouble.

At this point I was basically shaking I was so FURIOUS!

She could tell us what every body part this baby had but she wasn't allowed to tell us if the baby had a penis of vagina?!!!!?

Pretty much dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life.

Then she informed us that they use either a circle or an arrow to tell you if its a boy or girl.

She said our symbol was a circle. WHAT THE EFF DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?!

She wasn't 'allowed' to tell us which symbol was which.

So we left the stupid ultra sound office livid.

Then we decided to call my doctor's office to see if they would tell us what the symbol meant.

And Hallelujah they told us.

The little circle confirmed we are having a baby girl!

Look at how ridiculously cute she is already!

When we told Ellie she was going to get her baby sister she did her high pitched squeal then told us how she was going to dress her up like a ballerina and teach her how to dance and do her hair all the time.

She is basically pretty excited.

I'm super excited to see them be all sisterly.

Now we can finally start getting things ready.

She will have plenty of clothes, so all we need to worry about getting is EVERYTHING else.

All the stuff we had for Ellie was either borrowed or we traded it in for her big girl stuff at consignment stores.

I don't know how Jordon feels about having a house full of girls!

All I can say is he better get use to booby talk and lil panties everywhere.

I think he is a little nervous because he knows he is such a pushover when it comes to his girls and now we are adding another to the bunch.

He does so good with Ellie so I'm not worried.

He was meant to have a house full of baby girls!

We don't have any names picked out. I don't know if we ever will. Jordon and I cannot for the life of us agree on any girl names.

I'm excited to add more pink to this house and I'm totally going to dress her and Ellie in matching outfits!

hahaha LOVE IT.

2011-05-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is our ultrasound!

YAY!

All I can say is that this wee lil' baby better not be shy or I am camping out in that chair until we find out whether we are having a boy or girl.

I'm feeling that it's a boy. So its probably a girl. Ha Ha But I'm going to say it's a boy and see if my instincts are right. It's all just for fun and games of course.

I'm beyond excited for the ultrasound but so nervous! When I had my ultrasound with Ellie they discovered her kidneys were dilated. The doctor told me all the risks of dilated kidneys. First he said it could be a sign of downs syndrome and might need an amniocentesis. I was also told that if it doesn't fix itself by the time she is born then she would have to have surgery, and in extreme cases the kidneys could burst and I would lose the baby. I had to get another ultrasound at LDS hospital to see how severe it was. It ended up being a very mild case and they told me that in a most cases the problem always fixes itself by birth. I think every pregnant momma worries about potential problems but after I had that ultrasound I became sick to my stomach with the realization that there was a good possibility that my baby wouldn't be healthy. Of course it all turned out OK and Ellie has never had any health issues, and we are so extremely grateful for that.

So that experience defiantly makes me nervous to have this ultrasound. But I'm thinking positive and know that no matter what happens it is all part of Heavenly Father's plan.

I can't wait to start getting things ready for this little kidlet! I don't even bother looking at stuff since we don't know what we are having yet. I am one of those people that if we are having a girl EVERYTHING has to be extra girly and if its a boy EVERYTHING has to be extra boyish!

In other exciting news we are coming to Utah June 22-30. I'm excited to see all our fam! Especially my baby nephew Taetum that I haven't met yet! Also my bro in-law Kolten just came home from his mission so that will be exciting for him to see how crazy big his niece Ellie is now! I'm sad we only get to be there a week and I PRAY we will be able to get enough time with both families. Ugh I miss being with family!

Don't get me wrong I defiantly think there are ups to living a ways away from family, but I wish it wasn't SO far away. I think us living away from family has made Jordon and I's marriage a lot stronger. We constantly argued about family in Utah and now we pretty much never argue, so that's nice. Also my daughter actually somewhat listens to me now that she doesn't have 5 million other people to tell her yes when mom said no.

But dangit I just miss the feeling of being near family. I miss the Sunday family visits. I miss knowing that if your ever having some trouble you had a long list of people more than willing to help. :(

Lately I have been throwing myself a little pity party that I don't get to celebrate this pregnancy with my family around.

You can never have it all can you?

Living Room

2011-05-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

Our living room finally looks like someone actually lives in it. It is still a work in progress, but so far I'm likin' it. Our living room is really long and skinny so we actually only have half of our living room mostly finished. We kind of seperated them into two rooms. There is our little TV section and then the other half will be the office/play area. There is still a lot to do with the office/play area so I didn't take any pictures of that part.
These pictures are terrible so I apologize in advance.

Jordon's pride and joy. Ever since before we got married Jordon has wanted a flat screen TV, he finally got one.


Our couch that we finally decided on after searching for 4 long months.

Ignore the rocking chair. We had no where else to put it. I'm not really digging how we set up our pictures on this wall...

Our DVD case that I love.

Before Jordon and I had a place we could decorate I was always so excited to be able to decorate our home together. We like a lot of the same things so I figured it would be a piece of cake. Oh man was I wrong. It took us forever to agree on anything. For instance that DANG couch. We could not agree on a couch at all. Then Jordon found the couch that we have now and I totally gave in and let him get it. I love it now, but I didn't love the price tag so I really didn't want to get it but man o man I was so done looking.
I defiantly think our living room needs some more color, but Jordon isn't big on bright colors.. *sigh
Sometimes I wish he wasn't so into this stuff...
I really really want to get some curtains for the living room. I love curtains for some reason. But I have not been able to find any that I like. I saw on one of these crafty blogs I read that they just got plain white curtains and painted a stencil on them. It turned out really cute so I think I'm going to try and do something like that. I think the rest of our house decorating will go on hold until after we get all the stuff we need for the baby, which is basically everything so it will probably be a while. We also might try and move into a bigger apartment which I'm really not looking forward to because I really like the layout of this apartment, but it will defiantly be a lil snug in here with 2 kids. We will see what happens..

No One Messes with Ellie's Daddy

2011-05-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

First things first, I am so PROUD of my amazing husband for getting a promotion today!! He has worked his butt off and more than deserves it. I would brag about all the details of just how awesome he is but I still don't understand all the military lingo and I don't want to cancel out all the awesome stuff with my stupidity.

I LOVE YOU JORDON EMERY!

When Jordon came home from work he was telling me about how they dumped water on him when he got his promotion. Ellie was listening and became upset. "Dad why did they do that to you?!" Jordon tried to explain that they were just being silly and it was all fun in games, but Ellie was not having it. In her most serious 'I mean business' voice she explained to us just how unacceptable this was. "They DO NOT throw water on MY DADDY! You better take me to you work so I can tell them that it is NOT OK for them to throw water on my dad. And if they try to throw water on you again I will say HEY STOP RIGHT THERE!"

I wish more than anything we got this on tape because it was the most hilarious thing I have ever heard. I started to laugh a bit and Ellie looked at me with her arms crossed and said, "Mom this is not a joke! This is very serious."

Ah I wish my pregnancy brain didn't erase everything right after it happened and I could write this little convo word for word cause she went on for some time telling us how everyone at daddy's work was in big trouble.
I think the funniest thing was just picturing this little 3 year old girl telling a bunch of soldiers what was up, and of course in true Ellie fashion she would have one hand on her hip the whole time.

So if anyone is thinking about messing with Ellie's dad you better be prepared to take on Ellie, because that kind of shenanigans WILL NOT be tolerated.

Layin Low

2011-05-02T08:30:00.000-07:00

10 more days till we have our ultrasound! Yipee!
Baby love has been moving all over the place. Jordon was able to feel it for the first time on Friday. Jordon put his hand on my belly and the babes immediately pushed up against his hand and started rubbing back and forth. That was the hardest I have ever felt the baby move so far. Just wanted to make sure Daddy knew the babes loves his guts already.
It feels like this kid is trying to escape already. He will move down as low as possible and roll around. It feels like if it kicks the wrong spot there is going to be an arm or a leg hanging out. Yeah its pretty uncomfortable.

Ellie was watching Tangled and I walked in on her trying to kiss Flynn Ryder on the TV. She didn't even try to deny it. She was rather proud.
Stinkin crazy kid of mine. I love her to much.

Sunshine Makes Me Happy

2011-04-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was 78 degrees! It felt delicious outside. So of course Ellie and I spent the entire day outside. The best thing about living on base is there are tons and tons of playgrounds. There are 3 playgrounds just a short walk away from our house.

I must say it is the funnest thing to listen to the things little kids talk about to each other. There was a little girl about Ellie's age playing and I heard her say, "I have FOUR boyfriends!" I was like PHEW it's not just Ellie that says that crazy stuff.

It is so nice to watch her play with other kids. She isn't shy at all. She will run up to any other kids that are playing at the same place and put her hand on her hip and say, "You can play with me if you want!"
When Jordon got off work we went to another playground. At first Jordon was playing with her and then Ellie started playing with the other kids and Jordon kind of got pushed aside. haha. He was OK with it though, I think. She was playing with a bunch of kids that were probably a couple years older than her but she was defiantly holding her own and able to keep up with them pretty well. Jordon and I just sat back and watched her be such a big kid. It was bittersweet. I think it really hit us that she isn't a little baby that needs our help with everything all the time. We kept saying stuff to her and just watching her and smiling and when she would walk past us she would say, "Stop staring at me!" with one of those 'gosh my parents are so embarrassing' looks on her face. It was hilarious.

Ellie is such a fun gal, I love hanging out with her all the time. Sometimes I get a little sad that its not going to be just me and her all the time for much longer. I'm defiantly savoring these last months we have alone together. I also love that it is finally getting warmer! I'm not going to lie winter totally sucked big time here but there are tons and tons of things to do here in the summer time. We will defiantly be spending a lot of time outside. Yesterday after spending so much time outside I felt TONS better. Maybe that is the cure this baby was looking for!

Boys Have Cooties!

2011-04-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

My 3 year old has become obsessed with boyfriends! I think she has cut 10 years off of Jordon and I's life expectancy.
Every time she watches a TV show with a boy in it or sees a little boy about her age she always says, "That's my boyfriend. We hold hands all the time."
It's basically all she talks about now a days. Her top pick for a boyfriend currently is Flynn Ryder from Tangled. I was being a brat one day and told her that me and Flynn Ryder were boyfriend girlfriend and we totally hold hands all the time. Oh man she freaked. It was hilarious.
After my doctor's appointment we went to Wendy's for lunch and we were sitting there chatting and Ellie says, "Ah Dad I really need to get myself a boyfriend." Jordon replied with, "I will never let you have a boyfriend."
Poor Jordon. If Ellie ever talks about getting boobs or having boyfriends Jordon turns about 10 shades whiter.
I told Ellie that she has to tell me whenever she gets a boyfriend. She replied, "Yeah I will even tell you when we kiss!" Jordon basically almost died.
I've tried telling her that boys have cooties and they are totally gross and she is just like, "I LOVE COOTIES!"

She is growing up way to fast for my liking. I think we will keep her locked up till she is 18. Yeah, I think that will be the plan.

2011-04-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

So here are my belly pictures for now. I'm actually 16 weeks now but I don't think my tummy looks any different than 14 weeks. Sorry the pictures are kinda blurry they are cell phone pictures, but that's probably as good as they are gonna get from me.

I have been feeling lil' baby kicks for a couple weeks now. I thought it was way to early to feel kicks and I didn't want to be all mushy gooshy about gas bubbles! But I can defiantly tell a difference now. I don't feel them very often but I have been able to tell that they are gradually getting stronger! I'm still getting sick. LAME. I have zero appetite. I have to force myself to eat, which is totally unlike me cause eating is my most favoritest thing to do! If I do crave something it will be something I know I can't have like Cafe Rio and Carl's Jr. Yes there is no Carl's Jr. or the other name it goes by in other states I can't remember what it is I think its Hardees or something. I have been dying for a big juicy guacamole burger. In fact I have not found any decent burger places here in NY and I must say I'm deeply upset. My search will still continue though.

Its dumb cause I constantly think about food but when it comes to eating I don't want to.

I don't even understand.

Hopefully this will soon change and I will want to eat anything and everything.

I miss Utah food. All they have here are pizza places and Italian places. The two freakin foods I absolutely cannot stand right now. It's so unfair.

We are suppose to make a trip to Utah in June hopefully and you better believe I'm going to shove my face with food the entire time. My list consists of: Carl's Jr. guacamole burger and jalapeno chicken burger, Cafe Rio salad of course *this will most likely be a daily meal, Chicken Express mmmm best food ever, and Thai House Spicy Noodles. Those are just places right off the top of my head..

I have been thinking more about the food then visiting my family.

I'M PREGNANT OK! Don't judge me.

That has actually become my excuse for everything lately. Its awesome

4 more weeks and we are halfway done! This totally freaks me out.

I feel so unprepared and feel like I have no time.

I don't want this pregnancy to go by fast.

I'm sure it will start to feel like it's crawling by soon but right now, gosh it feels like we just found out yesterday.

We should find out what we are having soon! I am super excited to find out. I could never go without finding out. Ellie still says it's a girl, Jordon says it's a boy, I'm undecided. I have been mostly feeling like its a boy but lately I have been thinking girl so I have absolutely no idea. I would love to have a boy so we could have one of each but I would love to give Ellie a sister. I'm super close with my sisters so I defiantly want Ellie to be able to have that type of relationship too.

But I don't know I can't decide. What do you guys think? Boy or Girl?

We have a boy name picked out and I think we finally decided on a girl name, maybe. I'm sure it will probably change.

Those are all my updates for now! I have a doc appointment this week so hopefully I will have more fun stuff to write about.

Babes

2011-03-18T10:37:00.000-07:00

This is how the past couple weeks have been for me-

Nausea

Sleep

Nausea

Sleep

and when I get lucky

Vomit

Its been a pretty crappy couple of weeks, and I feel even more sorry for Ellie cause she has a momma that just lays there on the couch all day and twitches every so often. Ardie is usually pretty good company for her sometimes, when they aren't stealing each others toys or Ellie isn't trying to squeeze his head off.

I'm totally going to make up for it as soon as I start feeling better, I swear.

I feel like the stinkiest momma ever.

But other than that Ellie seems pretty excited about it all. Every so often she squeals at the top of her lungs and says, "MOMMY IS HAVING A BABY!"

She defiantly needs a sibling. She hates playing alone. I'm so excited just to give her a little brother or sister. I'm excited for all the little shenanigans they will get into together. Having brothers and sisters is the best.

So far, this pregnancy has been nothing like my last. I puked a lot with my last pregnancy but I don't remember feeling nauseous ALL day EVERY day like I do now.

I literally can smell anything and everything, and I really hate the smell of our apartment. I can hardly even go in the kitchen. Ellie has terrible breath, I make her brush her teeth all the time. I want to punt Ardie every time he gets close to me. Obviously I'm not very loving right now.

That's another thing with this pregnancy, HOLY Miss Grumpy Pants. I even asked Jordon if I was grumpy with my last pregnancy and he said that he can't remember, which means I wasn't because he would totally remember something like that.

If Jordon and Ellie still love me after this it will be a miracle.

My cravings have been really weird. I will crave something until I get it and then as soon as I eat it I will never want to eat it again. Once I ate like six pickles, defiantly wont be eating those for awhile those things hurt coming back up :S. I was craving burnt pizza once but couldn't eat the cheese and sauce so all I ate was the crust. Salt & vinegar chips, hot dog, root beer, potatoes potatoes potatoes, I don't even know what else its been very random. I cannot stand Italian food, or any type of salad dressing. Which completely sucks for me because Jordon is a ranch-a-holic. He isn't allowed to get close to me whenever he eats it. Tomato sauce and cheese has been the most repulsive combo to me. I sure hope it doesn't stay like this!

But lately I have been doing a little better and have been able to actually get off the couch. Lately its been more puking that nausea, which is totally ok with me, it feels a lot better.

I had my first doctors appointment on Tuesday. With Tri-care we have to be 'referred' to a doctor first and if we don't like that doctor we have to go through the whole referral process again. LAME. But good news is is that so far I like this doctor's office. It's the office for only Fort Drum. They have midwives and ob/gyn, but they only let you go to the ob/gyn if your high risk, which I'm totally ok with cause I want to go to a midwife. The midwife they sent me to is the 'head midwife' I guess. He is in the military. (Does anyone else think that's totally weird?) So he was all in uniform and what not, and I have to call him Major instead of Doctor... weird. I don't know if I will ever get the hang of this military stuff. ANYWAYS geeze I'm totally rambling. Sooo he was a pretty nice guy, a little ok A LOT on the weird side, but super nice! He is also being stationed somewhere else in July so I will be getting a different doctor anyways.

I got to see the little peanut in my belly! It was a super short ultrasound but fun. At first the babes was sleepin away and the Doctor shook my belly like crazy and the lil nugget rolled over and stretched out his itty bitty legs and went back to sleep. The doctor said it's probably a boy since he is so lazy!

Oh p.s Jordon is in Virginia right now so me and Ellie had to go on this little adventure on our own. So Ellie was strapped in her stroller through the whole appointment. It was pretty awesome as soon as we got in the room there were nursing pictures ALL over the room. So Ellie had lots of questions. No worries I was totally mature about the whole thing. Luckily I had my phone and let her play games on it to keep her distracted.

If you have ever had a baby you know all the fun stuff you get to do at your first appointment. Well while in the middle of my PAP SMEAR Ellie yells out, "MOMMY MOMMY I HAVE TO PEE!" Yeah, its not like I could just jump up and take her to the bathroom in my sweet paper robe that opened in the front. So I just keep telling her, "Please try and hold it baby, you just gotta hold it for a bit."

No go. During the whole thing she was yelling out, "Mommy I'm gonna pee! Mommy I can't hold it. Mommy I just peed!" Yeah. She peed her pants in the middle of my pap smear. Totally awesome.

Well I'm 12 weeks pregnant and my due date is September 30th! WOO! Hopefully this baby will be rad and stick close to that date so Daddy can be with us longer! Its so amazing to see that there really is a baby in there and your not miserable for nothing! I think I finally believe I'm pregnant now :)

Sister

2011-03-08T20:15:00.000-08:00

I love Ellie Ruth like crazy. It's a love I defiantly cannot describe, all that I know is whenever I think about it my heart feels like its going to burst out of my chest, but at the same time there is a fear in the back of my head that I might do something wrong in raising her. She knows how to push every single one of my buttons but in the same sentence make me sigh, scoop her up and cover her in kisses.
She is so big now.
She really is her own person.
I can't just dangle something in front of her face to keep her preoccupied for a bit.
She can actually hold a real conversation with you.
She has her own interests, her own likes/dislikes.
She notices EVERYTHING, remembers EVERYTHING, and everything influences her.
She's a child, not a baby.
Its crazy, the transition of raising a baby to a child. It's a whole different ball game.

Since we have moved here we have either been to busy to even breathe or I have been insanely sick, and mommy and Ellie time has defiantly been pushed aside. It's breaking my heart. Since we have lived here I have sort of felt like I'm in limbo. I'm still trying to process everything and figuring out how I'm going to let it affect me. (Does that make sense?)
I can only imagine how it has really been affecting Ellie. She went with out her daddy for seven months and then got taken away from everything that she knew and moved to a strange place she has never been to clear across the country. Now her momma is having another baby and is going to have to learn how to share the attention. I defiantly feel like we explained everything to her good and talked to her about everything all the time.
Don't get me wrong she is a happy girl, I just worry about should I be doing more? I just want to make sure I'm doing everything that she needs me to be doing.
She always puts a smile on my face and she defiantly has the best personality ever!

Today she was coloring on the bottom of her toes and she said Look mom I drew boobs! They didn't really look like boobs, and yes, Ellie has a thing about boobs and literally dreams about having them one day. She just thought it was the most hilarious thing that she made her toes have boobs. I don't really know how I should process this so I'm just going to shrug it off and laugh.

All Natural

2011-03-06T09:49:00.000-08:00

I think I have been getting a little ahead of myself with this pregnancy...
I basically have everything planned out and I haven't even been to a doctor yet. When I was pregnant with Ellie I didn't plan anything, and I defiantly didn't look up to see what my options where about giving birth. So since I found out I was pregnant I have been looking up anything and everything about giving birth. I watched a few documentaries that I probably shouldn't have... Have any of you seen The Business Of Being Born? If your planning on having a fully medicated hospital birth you probably shouldn't watch it.
Since watching those documentaries and doing lots of research I have decided that I really want to go to a midwife. I never really knew the difference between a midwife and ob/gyn all I knew was that they weren't really 'Doctors' and that right there turned me off. But I have finally educated myself and have felt like this would be the best decision.
Now I just need to find one. I absolutely hate finding new Doctors or Dentist or anything like that. Especially since I don't know anyone here and can't get any recommendations. Jordon has been trying to ask around at work but has come up pretty empty handed.
Giving birth is such an amazing experience and I just want to try and get the most out of it as I can. Now I know everything doesn't go according to plan. Trust me, I know. But it doesn't hurt to have one. One thing that I defiantly want to try to avoid is being induced, unless of course it's a matter of life and death.
Is it totally crazy of me to be super excited to give birth again?
Ellie's birth went pretty stinkin' good, ya know besides the whole almost bleeding to death thing.. She was healthy, I didn't have to have any crazy interventions, I went into labor on my own. The only thing was that I had to get an episiotomy and I defiantly want to try and avoid that this time around. That was seriously the most painful part, and it made my recovery 100 times harder. Ick, thinking about that makes me not excited to give birth again..

Am I getting a little to carried away this early on? I don't know.. I'm just excited!
If anyone knows of some good places to get info on this type of stuff please let me know!

I really want some french fries and a chocolate frosty right now. That sounds sooo good.

Suprise!!

2011-02-23T05:55:00.000-08:00

I have about a million and one things going through my head right now. But have zero words to truly describe what I am feeling.
First test-positive. What the? No way, thats defiantly a false positive.
Second test-positive. Your Joking! Your kidding. Nope I don't believe you.
Third test- positive. These are all lies I know it.
When I took the first test I just busted up laughing. Really? Seriously? Ok Ok I get it your just messing with me I know. HA HA HA.
What the heck?! I am just so at a loss for words.
Alright alright let me start at the beginning.
While Jordon was at AIT we threw around the idea of having another baby soon. We never actually started 'trying' we just didn't prevent anything. When Jordon finally came home from AIT we decided we didn't want to start trying until we found out when he would deploy, so we started preventing. Well shortly after moving Jordon found out that he would most likely be deployed in the fall, so we both decided that right now is defiantly not the right time.
Obviously Heavenly Father laughed at this little plan of ours.
Yesterday after taking a shower I noticed that my chest was looking extra fantastic lately. Including insane tenderness, but I was due for ms. period the next day actually so I figured that was the cause. After cleaning up some things in our room I found a pregnancy test from when ya know there was actually more of a chance that I could be pregnant. I thought to myself I should just use it as a joke, we aren't going to need this for a long time and by then it probably wont be any good so I might as well get my use out of it now right?
I take the test and wait. While I'm waiting I think oh my heck wouldn't that be hilarious if it said I was pregnant?! Ah man I would laugh so hard..
Yeah. PREGNANT!

I am BAFFLED.
I wait for Jordon to come home from work, dying of anticipation. I text him and tell him I need to have chat with him as soon as he gets home. Of course he thinks its something terrible, so he is all worried.
When he gets home I tell him to close his eyes and then I hold out the test in front of him. His reaction.
YOUR JOKING ME.
Yeah lets run to the store and get some more tests because I don't believe that.

Well sure thing. They are a big fat POSITIVE.
Really it hasn't hit me. I certainly don't feel pregnant. I still don't believe it.

The irony of it is, is that right before I took that test I was going to write a blog about how Ellie has been so difficult lately and I couldn't even imagine raising 2 kids right now.
Que Gods laughter in the background.
Oh yeah and I told Jordon that if I had another baby close to winter again he would lose his manhood.
More laughter.

I just don't think its in Jordon and I's cards to have a baby at a convenient time.

So now we have a wee lil one due in October, the month that Jordon is scheduled to deploy.
I'm hoping and praying that something will change. Maybe Obama will actually be telling the truth and really start pulling troops out of Afghanistan in July. Or maybe for some reason they will hold off on deploying his brigade for awhile, So my husband wont miss out on his second babies first year of life.
Knowing that there is a very good chance that I can be raising two kids on my own is absolutely terrifying to say the least.

But all craziness aside, I'm already madly in love with this baby. I'm already anxiously awaiting his/her arrival. Ellie is going to be an amazing big sister and I can't wait to watch them together.

I'm freakin pregnant.

I wrote this back in January when we found out. Basically, I'm still shocked. But defiantly feeling a lot more pregnant. Ellie is so excited, she can hardly wait. Every night at bedtime she has to give the baby hugs and kisses. Everyday she asks if the baby is coming out yet.
We are super excited for this lil baby and can't wait to meet him/her!!

Day 10: A Childhood Memory

2011-02-12T07:44:00.000-08:00

I was crazy when I was a wee lil one.
I remember when I was about 4 years old my sister started dating her future hubbs. I basically was always just in my undies and a t-shirt. Whenever my sister's boyfriend would come over and see me in my undies he would always say "AH I can't see your undies or I will go to jail!"
So I took this and ran with it.
One time I was laying on the couch in my awesome barbie undies and he came over. I yelled out, " HEY LOOK!" and he looked and I laughed and said, "HA your going to jail!"
Every one always teases me about that.
I was basically awesome whateve.
I wish I had a picture of me when I was little on my computer BUT I don't sorry!

Day 9: My Beliefs

2011-02-11T09:51:00.000-08:00

I believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

I believe that families can be together forever.

I believe that God has a plan and everything happens for a reason.

Day 8: A Moment

2011-02-09T12:21:00.000-08:00

A moment in my life that by far tops all other moments in my life is when I gave birth to Ellie Ruth.

I had no birth plan, no this and this has to be a certain way, no expectations.

In ways I'm glad that was how it was. I just went with the flow.

But I do wish I would have documented everything better.

It was just Jordon and my sister in the room.

There was such an amazing feeling floating in the room.

I wasn't scared or worried, just soo excited to finally meet her.

When she finally came out and I met my baby girl for the first time, ah the feeling is indescribable.

I knew the instant I saw her Heavenly Father sent her to us for a very special reason.

Giving birth is such an amazing experience that no one should ever take for granted.

I love my little miss Ellie, and whenever I am having a bad day or upset I always just replay the day over and over in my head and it helps remind me how amazingly blessed I am.

Day 7: My Best Friend

2011-02-09T11:45:00.000-08:00

Well of course my most bestest friend ever is my husband Jordon Kinsman.

He is the funnest person to be around. He always knows how to make me laugh. He likes to have 'pig-out' nights with me. He LOVES beating me at things and proving me wrong (rare occurrence) and we both think its hilarious.

He is just basically a fun guy and I get to spend all my time with him!

And my sisters are of course my best gal pals. They are always there for me, and helped me through every yucky thing.

And for a best friend that isn't related and basically forced to spend time with me would have to be miss Cicely.
I love her guts. She is the best. Whenever we are together we literally talk the ENTIRE TIME. There is never a quiet moment. She is ok with being mature with me when we have to be and loves being immature with me when we get to be. She was also the only friend that stuck around after I got married and had a baby, and that says a lot about her character because friends that I really thought would be there for me forever suddenly dropped off the face of the planet as soon as I got pregnant.

It's nice to have true genuine friends, they are few and far between.

Day 6: My Day

2011-02-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

My Sunday was just like any other Sunday.

Woke up, showered, went to church.

Came home, made some din din, took a 3 hour nap.

Now we are chillin watchin the laaame superbowl.

Exciting.

Day 5: Your Definition of Love

2011-02-06T16:50:00.000-08:00

My definition of love. Whew that's a tricky one.

Well I think it starts with someone caring for you unconditionally.

When it doesn't matter how loud they snore at night, that their outfit totally doesn't match, and that they pick their nose a little much.

No matter how retarded that joke was they told you, you laugh uncontrollably anyways.

You can completely be yourself around them.

When your willing to do something uncomfortable just so they don't have to.

You hurt when they hurt.

When you are truly willing to risk everything you have for that person.

There is so much more that love means to me, but I just completely suck at expressing that type of stuff.

Day 4: What you ate today

2011-02-05T08:27:00.000-08:00

Breakfast: Strawberry Banana Smoothie

Snack: Wheat thins and cottage cheese mmmm..

Lunch: Greek Salad.

Dinner: Spicy Garlic Chicken wings with cheesey potato wedges from Buffalo Wild Wings

Fridays always seem to be the day you eat the best, and you like how I totally canceled out my healthy eating with dinner.

Day 3: Parents

2011-02-03T14:20:00.000-08:00

Ooooh the lucky parentals that got to raise me :D (i hope you can sense my sarcasm.)

Brenda and Stuart.

If my parents see that I put this picture on here they are totally going to kill me.

Good thing I live in New York now! hahahahahahahahhahahah

ah They love me so much.

All joking aside my parents are pretty awesome. I mean they did raise 7 kids so they must be a little crazy. But that makes them fun.

They sacrificed a lot for all of us kids.

I owe them a lot. They didn't totally disown me when I got pregnant at 17 and they even let my crazy little family move in their home for a year.

My Dad is stinkin hilarious, and makes the most delicious Sunday dinners and the best guacamole.

All of us kids knew that if we ever needed anything we could always go to him.

He is an awesome grandpa. Him and Ellie got really close while we were living with them and it totally broke my heart to take her away.

My mom bakes the most delicious cinnamon rolls, and according to Jordon the best oatmeal raisin cookies. (I hate raisins)

My mom always told us how it was. Whenever me and my sister wanted to know if we looked good in an outfit or something we would always tell each other, "Go ask mom she will tell you the truth."

My mom is also really good at spoiling her grand kids. Ellie got away with way to much when she was around her. Ellie even had a special candy drawer just for her in my parents bedroom.

I love their guts.

Day 2: First Love

2011-02-02T15:52:00.000-08:00

My first love will be my love for eternity.

Jordon Emery.

Yes I had boyfriends before I met Jordon but I can honestly say I didn't love them.

I don't really understand why people think it is so weird when people get married young.

Doesn't everyone hope and pray that they can find that one person they can spend forever with?

Some people just get lucky and find them early in life.

I got extremely lucky.

There is no doubt in my mind that Jordon and I will be together forever.

30 Day Challenge

2011-02-01T07:40:00.000-08:00

I have seen a lot of people do this 30 day challenge and I have been extremely bored lately and nothing really to blog about so I figured I would join the crowd!!
Here is the breakdown-
Day 01: Introduce yourself
Day 02: Your first love
Day 03: Your parents
Day 04: What you ate today
Day 05: Your definition of love
Day 06: Your Day
Day 07: Your Best Friend
Day 08: A moment
Day 09: Your beliefs
Day 10: A childhood memory
Day 11: Your siblings
Day 12: Whats in your bag
Day 13: This week
Day 14: What you wore today
Day 15: Your dreams
Day 16: Your first kiss
Day 17: Your favorite memory
Day 18: Your favorite birthday
Day 19: Something you regret
Day 20: This month
Day 21: A physical feature you love
Day 22: Something that upsets you
Day 23: Something that makes you feel better
Day 24: Something that makes you cry
Day 25: A first
Day 26: Your fears
Day 27: Your favorite place
Day 28: Something that you miss
Day 29: Your aspirations
Day 30: 5 confessions about you

Day 1: Introduce yourself

Why HELLO! My name is Amanda Caitlin Kinsman, maiden name Welch.

I am currently 20 years old turning 21 March 1st.

I am married to Jordon Kinsman and have a beautiful baby girl named Ellie who is 3 years old.

We have a toy australian shepherd named Ardie.

I am residing in Fort Drum, NY and as of right now I rather enjoy it.

I guess that pretty much sums it up, yeah?

Picture complements of my amazing photographer Ellie Ruth. Its pretty much the only picture I have of myself so I figured I would brighten your day with it.

New Routine

2011-01-24T19:19:00.000-08:00

We have moved into our new home on base. I love it. It already feels like our home. We have most of our stuff all unpacked, besides that random stupid stuff everyone has that you can't throw away but you have absolutely nowhere to put it. OK maybe not everyone has that, but we sure do.
I have been thoroughly enjoying our dishwasher and our new washer and dryer in our amazing laundry room. I never thought I would have a real laundry room. Its awesome.
I'm still trying to get use to not seeing an LDS church on every block. We drive 40 minutes to our ward with a grand total of maybe 60 people. Its so different to me.
Everyone seems really friendly though, and so eager to help. We have ran into some extremely kind people since we have been here.
When we were staying at the hotel an older man was staying in the room next to us and was standing outside when Jordon came home from work one day. They got to talking, about the military of course, kept it short and Jordon was on his way. The next morning I get a knock at the door and that man handed me a gift card. On it it said Thank you for your service and sacrifices. It was a rather large amount on a gift card from someone that we didn't even know his name. I was just so taken back. He left the hotel right after he gave that to us so we never were able to get his name or give him a proper thank you.
I don't know it was just a very humbling experience.
It defiantly helps being in a new place when you meet such kind people.

Reality has defiantly been sinking in. Especially now that whenever I even step out my front door I see someone in uniform. I met another military wife that just moved here about the same time we did, this is their first duty station as well. Her husband is set to deploy in March. We were chatting about it. Talking about all the things they have to try and get done before he leaves, finding a home, getting a will together. They haven't even been able to find a home yet and he is already leaving. It breaks my heart for them.
Its crazy. We are all growed up now, and instead of talking about our latest crush in our math class we are talking about putting our will together before our husbands deploy.
I better start accepting reality now because Jordon is set to deploy in the fall. No dates are for sure yet though.

ANYWAYS! I have been having a super fun time looking at furniture and thinking up things to decorate our house with.
We picked this bad boy up at an antique store. We are going to turn it into a desk. I'm super excited to see how it turns out.

This is my first crafty project for our new home. I decided I'm super obsessed with burlap.

And we gotta end this post with a ridiculously cute picture of my amazing husband being the rockstar dad that he is to my cutie ba tootie daughter.
I'm a happy girl.

I plan on posting pics of our house but I'm just to dang lazy.

Oh Cool, Pictures.

2011-01-09T18:36:00.000-08:00

Sooooo here are some pictures of our journey thus far. PS I haven't taken any pictures of the area we are living in besides the lake.... So yeah,, maybe I should do that....

This is how our Christmas Eve was spent. Cleanin' Ellie's puke clothes.

Nebraska is LAME

Fulllll Car.

Pit Stop

Iowa

Jordon thinks I'm annoying. Ha. Teasin... I think..

She looks comfy?

Mississippi River. Leaving Iowa entering Illinois

Sandusky, Ohio

Tommy Boy fan? This is apparently where he lives in the movie.... Yes Jordon thought we absolutely had to stay there. Its ok though because we ate the most delicious pizza ever.

I'm a good pet owner and lock our dog in the closet. Hilarious.

Yay I have food in my teeth!

Following pics are from our Motel in Henderson Harbor NY.

HOME SWEET HOME!

A Quick Update

2010-12-29T10:31:00.000-08:00

We have made it to Fort Drum New York. All I gotta say is I am sooo glad to not have to drive anymore.
It took us 4 eight hour driving days to get here. We ventured through Wyoming Nebraska Iowa Illinois Indiana Ohio Pennsylvania and finally New York.
I was completely terrified to drive all the way across the country in the dead of winter. I made sure we got new all weather tires, tire chains, emergency food and blankets. Jordon thought I was getting a little carried away but I kept telling him, "Nothing bad ever happens when your prepared." and guess what!
The weather was perfect the entire way. It snowed for about 10 minutes in Indiana but that was it! It was actually a very enjoyable ride, but after the first day Jordon's and my back were killing us. Cars are not very comfortable. Ellie did so awesome. She wore big girl pants the whole way and only had two accidents. When we very first left Tooele Ellie puked her guts out, so that was a nice start to our trip. Our dog also did very well.
The morning after we arrived to Fort Drum Jordon received a phone call telling him that they have a house available for us on base January 18th!!!
They haven't told us the exact address of the house yet but we drove past the neighborhood and I gotta be honest... It is defiantly the ghetto of Fort Drum. But that's ok, we will make it cute and we have lived in worse :) We can always find another place if we end up not liking it. I have a good feeling about it though and I'm way excited.
I have only been to 2 different bases besides Fort Drum and I defiantly think Fort Drum looks a lot nicer. The area is super cute, not to crazy busy, and lots of character. Lake Ontario is only 20 minutes away, we have only seen a tid bit of the lake and it was dark so I can't tell you much about it. But the hotel that we will be staying at till we get our place is literally ON the lake! So I will be taking lots of pictures.
Oh yeah and there is a Target so I'm already in love with the area. :)
We have been so extremely blessed since we started this trip and it has defiantly reassured me that this is where we are meant to be.
We have defiantly gotten a little homesick, especially when we have to stay in smelly hotels and are to afraid to sleep with the blankets.
We miss everyone lots, but like I said this is where we are meant to be so might as well make the best of it.
Pictures to come!

Zoom

2010-12-23T10:54:00.000-08:00

Well ever since Jordon got home we have been busy busy. Seriously yesterday was the only day that we actually just got to sit and relax for a sec. But its been fun. The week sure did fly by!

It feels amazing to have Jordon home to say the least.

Here are a couple of pictures from the week. I have tons more but these are some of my fave!

I hung up this sign and then brilliant me thought I should open the garage and tore it all up. But its ok I patched it up.

Waitin to pick up Daddy!!!!

The only place Ellie will fall asleep on her own!

About every 5 seconds Ellie says, "Daddy I love you so much, I'm so happy your home!"

Ellie is so ridiculously cute.

We have been trying to visit everyone that we can, had a fun weekend up at wolf creek, had an early Christmas for Ellie, (I'll post pictures of that later.) Movers came and took away all of our stuff, got our car all ready for the long trip, (who the eff knew a transmission fluid change cost 150 bucks! STOOOOPID) and all the little this and that crap you have to do before a nice long trip.

I just wanna tell everyone THANK YOU so much for all the support they have given us during this craziness. Thank you for all the sweet random comments on my blog they always made me feel better!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

We are so blessed to know so many sweet people, and we are going to miss you all like crazy. Our home in New York will always be open if you every wanna make a trip!

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! We love you!

We are hittin' the road bright and early Dec 24th. Next time you hear from me will be from New York!!

woah, I think its finally starting to sink in!

PEACE OUT UTAH! You've been good to us.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

2010-12-13T22:35:00.000-08:00

Ellie Ruth Kinsman is everything a momma could ever want in a daughter. She loves dressing up in pretty pink dresses, begs to have her nails painted, dances any chance she gets, loves getting her hair all prettied and stares at herself in the mirror forever, loves playing barbies, has NEVER lost any of her barbie shoes, and sings along to any song she hears even if she has absolutely no idea what the words are.
She is my bestest friend.
and She is MY daughter.
I love her so much. She is so big. 3 years old. I have a three year old.

woah.

But really, I keep thinking she is 12.
She has been trying out some more 'adult' words. Instead of potty she refers to it as restroom. She keeps trying to pull out ridiculous but still has a little bit of a hard time with it. She just acts so grown up about everything. She also loves telling me that I'm a 'freakin weirdo'.

She can identify almost all of the letters in the alphabet. We were doing her letter puzzle today and she would pick up the pieces and tell me what letter it was oh my goodness I was all sorts of proud! She knows all her colors and most of her shapes. She knows how to spell half of her name, haha and she draws the cutest little people. She has a freakin memory of an elephant. Seriously. She tells me stories of things that happened clear back in January, like specific details.
She talks c o n s t a n t l y.
Obeying me? Yeah right. That ain't her thang. I'm so excited to double team this parenting thing with Jordon!
I'm defiantly interested in seeing how things become when he comes home.

I love Ellie so much. It's still crazy to me to think she is really mine. She amazes me everyday. I love watching her grow up and learn new things. She loves learning, she always wants me to teach her something new. She also loves helping people. Whenever someone is doing the dishes she always asks to help load the dishwasher. If she spills something she always cleans it up. Its her favorite to help me load the washer and dryer.
Ah I love her and it's been awhile since I have bragged about her. She is so fun. She does even more awesome things but its late and I am slightly drugged so my mind isn't working correctly.
Seeing how grown up she is getting is also scaring THE crap out of me.. Every now and then I have these little panic attacks of 'oh my gosh what if she never wants to tell me about her first crush?! What if she stops wanting to hang out with me?! what if she thinks I'm lame?!' haha its crazy how fast time has gone by.
I love your guts baby girl.

dont worry its just root beer.

terrible mother yeah yeah. at least I have fun.

2010-12-13T13:05:00.000-08:00

stole this from thejonesdesigncompany.com

perfect lil reminder I needed today.

Tone it Down a Notch

2010-12-11T19:44:00.000-08:00

ew. Enough of the serious posts. Seriously.

Did I mention Jordon is comin home in

3 days..

Yeah. He is.

holler.

Talk about intense impatience.

Three days seems like an eternity.

mmm can't wait to kiss that face.

2010-12-10T09:42:00.000-08:00

Every once in awhile you have a bad day.

I take my 'bad' days to a whole new level sometimes.
Tuesday was one of my worse 'bad' days I have had in awhile.
Jordon and I have been having a really hard time with him being gone the past couple weeks. We have just been so irritated that he still has to be away from us when the military just has him sitting there doing absolutely nothing.
I have been working on being more positive about things since he left. But lately I have become very much aware of just how yucky the world can be. I absolutely hate politics and watching the news. They never make you feel better and you certainly don't walk away from it feeling up-beat and positive. Having Jordon in the military makes me feel like a moth to a flame when it comes to the news. I feel like I need to watch just in case there is anything I need to start preparing myself for.
Hate it.
Everything just started wearing on me quick and on Tuesday everything kucky started running through my head and Ellie was having a bad day as well and I broke down. I released everything onto Jordon, and left him feeling absolutely terrible because there wasn't anything he could do to help being so far away, and that was so unfair to him.
Later that night I got to go visit my brother and sister in-law to see our new baby nephew. Watching them be together with this new little baby who was so pure and innocent was such an eye opener.
You so easily get caught up in the evils of the world and forget about the small things that matter the most.
All that matters is my family. I love them more than life itself and all I want out of this life is to make them happy. And in order to make them happy I need to be happy and look at the brighter side of things in life. Yes the world can be an absolute terrible place, but it also can be the most beautiful if you look at things the right way. These past six months have taught me a lot about myself, I have learned that people so easily feel sorry for themselves instead of thanking the Lord for those little things that end up meaning the most. I'm thankful for the trials the Lord has placed before me because I know that they are shaping me into a better person.

The Waiting Game

2010-12-05T14:04:00.000-08:00

Well, not much going on with us. We pretty much have just been waiting.

and Waiting

and Waiting.

Time is going by soo s l o w.

But we are down to 9 DAYS till my love comes home!

This last week is going to be a killer that's for sure.

I am so in love with this man. I cannot wait for him to be with us again, and watch him and Ellie play together.

I am so blessed.

Keepin it Movin

2010-11-29T15:14:00.000-08:00

Phew. It's been a hectic week. But tons o' fun!
My lil Ellie Bug turned 3 on the 24th! She is the cutest. It was so fun to watch her open her presents. She understands it all now and was dying ALL day to open her presents. She had the best reactions.
Thanksgiving was fun, I defiantly had a lot to be thankful for this year, although it was super hard celebrating everything without Jordon. Went out on my first black Friday excursion at an early 5 am. It was lots of fun and I defiantly got some good deals! This Christmas is going to be very exciting.
December is going to be a hectic month. Bleh I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on the 8th.. :/ sick I'm so not looking forward to this. Hopefully I wont look like a chipmunk when Jordon comes home. Jordon comes home on the 14th! Then Jordon's birthday on the 16th, Wolf Creek with the Kinsmans that weekend/ early Christmas for us! Then on the 20th the movers are coming to take all of our stuff and on the 22nd or 23rd we are outta here!!! We found out that the military is letting Ellie and I go with Jordon to New York and putting us in a hotel till we find a place to live, and we gotta drive all the way there! WOO. I have been trying to get everything ready before I get my wisdom teeth out cause I'm sure I wont be to motivated during that time.
I don't exactly know what to do though... I have been going through all of our stuff and getting rid of the crap we don't want but thats as far as I have gotten. We aren't suppose to put anything in boxes but I don't know what else to do with it all! I hate just sitting back and just waiting, I want to hurry and get stuff done!
I can't believe that in a month we are going to be living in NEW YORK!!!! It defiantly hasn't hit me yet. I'm so excited though. Super nervous about driving across the country in the middle of winter, but still excited.

2010-11-18T22:57:00.000-08:00

164 Days Down

27 To Go.

woah.

2010-11-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or do the days feel like they are totally d r a g g i n g lately? I'm having one of those poop days.
Do you mind if I just sit and vent a bit? If ya do, sorry I'm doin it anyways.
I'm tired.
I thought time was going by slow when Jordon first left but it defiantly feels like its going even slower now that we are getting close to the end. We only have a little over a month left. AH! I can't believe I made it this far. Dangit I'm so anxious. The ending is defiantly the worse.

I'm so happy to move across the country. Really I am. I'm extremely excited. But man I am stresssin big time.
I feel like I should be doing something but I have absolutely no idea WHAT to do.. Where do I even start?
How are we suppose to find somewhere to live clear across the country? Jordon and I are in the process of getting on the waiting list to live on base. I personally think that would take a ton of stress off of us. But I also heard the waiting list is forever long. But I'm crossing my fingers it works out.
How are we suppose to afford moving, Ellie's birthday, Jordon's birthday, and christmas all at the same time?? Plus a plane ticket to get Jordon home.

I know everything is going to work out. I do. But I think it's safe to say that a very large majority of people would be stressing out too.

Ellie has decided she doesn't feel like going potty on the toilet anymore. She only goes poop on the toilet, then she just pees her pants whenever. She started doing this when I came home from Georgia. Before I left she was doing good. She would still have accidents but if she did have an accident she would go clean herself up and put new undies on. Now she just sits in it until I notice. She use to never pee the bed, now she pees it EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. First she pees her bed then comes into my bed in the middle of the night and pees my bed. She goes through all of her pants in two days. Ellie has A LOT of pants. She even says she wants to be in diapers again. We have been potty training since August. I AM NOT GOING BACK TO DIAPERS!
Nothing I have done has worked. I have even threatened canceling her birthday. (of course I wouldn't do that, but I'm running out of ideas here people!) I'm defiantly at my breaking point.
I'm tired.

2010-11-10T12:22:00.000-08:00

*turn music off at bottom of the blog.

This little girl is turning 3 in two weeks..

It feels like she was only a lil baby for 2 seconds.

Ah I would give anything to have that time back.

*please excuse Ellie's nudity in the bathtub.

and yes the first video is of her pooping. We are that mature.

Halloween

2010-11-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

Ellie is THE funnest girl around.

She picked this costume out all on her own.

and Yes, it is Katy Perry inspired.

Her number one requirement for her costume was BLUE HAIR! She had to have it. She couldn't stop staring at herself in the mirror after I did it. The first thing she said when she saw it, "I'm so beautiful like Katy Perry!"
(and all of the blue came out the first time I washed it.)

She is by far my most favorite gal. She has more personality than anyone I know, and I hope it never changes. I hope as she grows up she is never afraid to express who she is.

Even though it completely KILLS me to see how fast she is growing up, I love the girl she is growing up to be. Oh my heavens how can you not absolutely love this girl!

It was so fun getting her dressed up. I hope she thinks up something awesome for next Halloween!

Smile and Move On

2010-10-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

I am extremely excited about moving to New York with my husband and daughter. This is such a big step in our lives, and dangit I am soooo proud of us!!
Jordon and I have worked our butts off to try and 'grow up', and just be happy with were we are.
I'm am very satisfied with the choices that we have made, because I know that this is what Heavenly Father wants us to be doing, and I know with all my heart that there is a reason why we are going to New York.
I guess I really thought that everyone would be happy for us. But instead of hearing words of encouragement I've been told just about every little negative thing people can think up of New York.

I know mainly they are saying these things because they don't want us to leave, but guess what! The deed is done and we really don't have any other choice but to leave. So instead of trying to make me dread going there shouldn't you be encouraging me?
Ugh whatever.

I am excited.

Georgia Peach

2010-10-27T20:43:00.000-07:00

Georgia, was amazing.

I had tons of fun.

As guilty as I felt for not bringing Ellie, I have to admit it was much needed.

We ate the most AMAZING food. I wish I would have taken pictures of all the food we ate.

Mmmmm.... Heaven in my mouth.

The best food I must say was some Jerk Chicken from what looked like a very questionable and slightly scary Caribbean Restaurant. Sooooo goood.

Also the best tiramisu (sp) I have ever eaten. I want some right now.

I can finally say that I have tried fried green tomatoes. They weren't to bad.

If you ever find yourself in downtown Augusta GA make your way to the Boll Weevil, and I can't remember the Caribbean restaurants name but basically the only caribbean one down there.

We also went to the Country Living Fair, that I thought was a lot of fun. It was really just a gigantic Arts Festival, but I enjoyed myself. It gave me tons of cute ideas. Jordon and Doug got some delicious smoked turkey legs there. How random huh?

We visited many antique shops. Jordon and I's most favorite thing to do. CANNOT wait to have our own place so I can actually buy something from an antique shop.

Drove around a lot and found THE cutest houses. I love looking at cute neighborhoods. :D

I didn't do very good with the picture takin, I was to busy enjoying having a husband again.

I know I'm forgetting a ton of things but here's some pictures.

Jordon and his Papa with their turkey legs/ Cache at the Caribbean restaurant

Country Living Fair

Inside the fun lil' trailers!

Yeah, told you I sucked with the picture taking....

Soo Happy.

2010-10-26T11:00:00.000-07:00

Ahhh I'm back from an amazing weekend in Georgia. If I had Ellie with me we would have stayed forever.
But I will post more about Georgia later and put up some pics. I've got some bigger things to talk about that I just can't keep in.
First I gotta say I am sooooo happy to see my baby girl Ellie! I missed her so much! That was the longest that I have ever gone with out my baby, and needless to say I was dying!
I defiantly do have the cutest girl in all the world.

Ok are ya ready for the big news?!

Its official! WE ARE GOING TO FORT DRUM NEW YORK!!!!!!!!!!
Ah I am so so soooooo excited. I have basically been jumping up and down all day.
Jordon is also very excited that was his first pick. He has a friend that lives right outside of Fort Drum and sent me a picture of his yard. GORGEOUS and it was just a cell phone pic. Yes I do know that the winters there are intense but hello I live in Northern Utah, plus I'm so willing to put up with crappy winters to have my family back. I'm so happy. ah I can not wait to move into our own place and be together as a family again. mmmmm... I feel good.
May the house hunting and packing begin!!!!!!!

Lets Go

2010-10-12T18:55:00.000-07:00

Jordon is suppose to find out where he will be stationed this month. I am dying to find out. I just want to hurry up and know already! I'm so excited/nervous! I'm super excited to finally have a place of our own, and be in a new place and have some new adventures. It just feels like we are finally starting our lives. I'm nervous also because when we find out it will be real. Ya know what I mean? This is really happening. We will be moving somewhere we have never lived before, somewhere where we wont know anyone. We will be really living the military life. hmm..

But I am excited. I'm so ready for this experience. Lets do this!

Dangit I just want to know already. I have had two dreams that we moved to Colorado. Ellie randomly said we were moving to Arizona. Which ya know I'm really starting to believe Ellie's random statements because she has told my sister who is expecting that she is having a baby boy and yesterday she found out that she is having a baby boy!
I know Jordon is really hoping for Germany. I personally want New York, or somewhere in the south. Why the south? I don't know probably just because I always read about all the awesome antique stores and swap meets that go on in the south.
I really have no idea where we are going. Cross your fingers we find out this week!
Where do you think we will go? Stay in the states or go over seas??

What I Live For

2010-10-11T21:36:00.000-07:00

Look who came home for a visit

It felt like he never left.

Could Ellie be anymore of a clone of her daddy?!

Officially the best weekend ever.

Crazy Stuff my Daughter Says

2010-10-07T09:47:00.000-07:00

I need to start writing down everything that Ellie says. She says crazy things all the time but I am so use to it that I never think to write it down. But some things make me laugh extra hard and I have to share it.
Yesterday Ellie and I went to the park and Ellie started playing with a group of kids. They were playing so good with each other and I just sat and watched them, enjoying the fact that she wasn't climbing all over me.
I hear Ellie tell all the kids, "Here lets sit down and talk about Jesus."
I don't know maybe its just me but I thought it was absolutely hilarious that she said that. I was cracking up. She is so random I love it.

Hopefully when she gets into school she will always suggest to her friends that they should sit and talk about Jesus.

The Best 3 Years

2010-10-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

I was 17 years old and 8 months pregnant when Jordon and I got married. I can't say I was exactly excited to be getting married, Jordon and I defiantly felt a lot of pressure to do it. At the time I was so angry about it. I did not want to get married at 17. It had nothing to do with Jordon, I knew with all my heart I wanted to marry Jordon, just not at 17 years old when I had to have my mother come sign a paper in order to get our marriage certificate.

Also because I wanted a princess wedding, what girl doesn't? I wanted a wedding that was celebrated, and I didn't feel like anyone was celebrating it.

I look back now and think 'what stupid reasons!' But remember I was only 17.

My whole side of the family was very much against Jordon and I getting married. Some wouldn't even attend.

But in the end it wasn't about what everyone else wanted us to do.

It has taken a long time to truly realize it, but now I know with all my heart that we made the right choice about getting married at the age of 17.

I love Jordon Emery Kinsman with all my heart.

These past 3 years I have fallen in love with him all over again. I defiantly feel like our love is deeper, stronger and absolutely more mature. I am married to my best friend. I can truly be myself around him. He has been there for me through everything.

I remember when we were in the hospital after I had Ellie, it was only about a month after we were married, and someone had to come in the bathroom with me because I kept passing out. I always had one of the nurses helping me cause there was no way that I would let Jordon see me pee! One time I had to pee super bad and all of the nurses were busy so Jordon had to come in with me. Ugh I was so embarrassed. I kept apologizing to him over and over. Jordon just said, "Babe it doesn't bother me, I'm here to help you." and he turned the sink on and looked the other way so I could do my business. TMI I know.

He is just so good to me. He loves me for me and doesn't tease my craziness.

In the past 3 years we

had a baby girl

bought our first car

survived living with cockroaches

survived living with my parents

paid off that first car

made it through 2 lay-offs

had our biggest nastiest fight

threatened to leave

forgave eachother

grew up physically and emotionally

fell in love all over again

were sealed in the temple for time and all eternity

joined the army

survived 17 weeks without each other (so far)

& I wouldn't change one single thing that has happened.

Everything happens for a reason and we are so much stronger for it.

Jordon Emery Kinsman I will love you forever and always. Thank you for marrying me and loving me the way you do.

We've come a long long way, and have a long long way to go.

I can't wait!

These were our engagement pictures and for some reason Jordon had the hardest time smiling normal in them. He's a cutie.
Look at my belly! I just wanna rub it!

make-up artist

2010-09-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

Ellie got into my mother's eyeliner today. I'm pretty stinkin' proud of how good she did. Not in the exact right place but hey for a 2 year old it looks pretty good!

2010-09-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

I have been perusing the military wife blog world, hoping that I can find some positive and up-lifting things. Things that could get me excited about this whole experience.
Not gonna lie, I haven't found one thing that put a positive up-lifting spin on this whole active-army thing.
As I scan through these blogs I find myself thinking, What the hell did I get myself into?

It seems that most all military wives just look forward to that beloved day of retirement, at least that is the impression I have gotten.
Apparently all I have to look forward to is a lot of nights with no husband and many empty promises. The main rule for a military wife, NEVER GET YOUR HOPES UP.
Now I am praying, BEGGING that I am so very wrong on my observation. Maybe I'm just in a Debbie Downer mood right now.. Ok Ok Ok.

Think Positive.

We KNOW that this is what the Lord wanted us to do. We are getting the heck out of here. We are FINALLY going to be on our own. We will be able to visit places that we probably would never see with out the military. Jordon and I have already grown so much closer. hmmm... Good insurance?
Yeah I think I ran out. But that's good enough... right?
Yes. Yes it is.

p.s its a little late to back out now!

Fashion Re tard.

2010-09-22T18:20:00.000-07:00

When it comes to the clothes I wear, I very rarely go outside my comfort zone.

T-shirt, hoodie, Jeans, flip-flips/ vans slip-ons.

Yeah thats basically what my wardrobe consists of.

Sad I know.

I have always wanted to get all dressy, wear high-heels on a regular basis, fun sparkly tops, whateve.

But I always end up in a comfy t-shirt and my fave pair of jeans.

I have the hardest time going out of my comfort zone.

Every time I feel a little bit self conscience I automatically throw on a hoodie.

It's terrible.

Since Jordon has been gone and we have been able to have some extra spending money for us to go shopping I have been trying super hard to push my fashion boundaries. I haven't bought one plain t-shirt.

I love the boots over the jeans thing. Love it. I have always had a pair of uggs that I wear here and there but I'm talking about the tall high heel boots over jeans. I think it looks super cute. Anyone agree??

I have really wanted to give it a try, see if I can pull it off. But it goes to that comfort thing again...

Hmm... maybe I will take the plunge anyways. Get a little dangerous.

Handful

2010-09-21T19:39:00.000-07:00

Oh dear. Ellie says the craziest things. I don't even understand where she gets these things.

Ellie's favorite thing to say the past couple weeks is she LOVES the baby in my belly.

ok THERE IS NO BABY IN MY BELLY!

Whenever we are at the store looking at clothes she says stuff like, "That would be so cute for my baby!" Me, "What baby?" Ellie, "The baby in your belly mommy! It's coming out soon!"

Or she randomly runs up to me and kisses my belly and says, "I can't wait for my baby to come out!"

She especially loves telling people about the baby in my belly. Every morning she goes into my mom's room and talks about the baby in my belly and that it's coming out soon.

KILLING ME!

My mom got new curtains in the kitchen. Ellie went into the kitchen and I hear her say, "Oh beautiful! Mommy did you see these curtains? They are so cute!"

What the heck two year old notices new curtains? I don't even notice new curtains.

Ellie loves doing every ones hair. Today she asked if she could do my hair and all she had in her hands was pony tail holders so I said yes. So she is sitting there pretending to put my hair in a pony tail and then I hear a little 'snip'. S#!%

Yeah she cut my hair. It wasn't a lot though and its not noticeable thank goodness!

I made her go to her room and when she came back out this is what she told me, "Mom, here's the problem. I just want to talk to you and say I'm sorry for cutting your hair, and I just want to give you a hug."

How the heck am I suppose to punish her when she says stuff like this?

Heavens.

This isn't even the half of what she says. She is CRAZY TOWN.

I love her stinkin guts.

Settling

2010-09-17T18:18:00.000-07:00

After 14 weeks of no hubby to go to sleep next to, and no hubby to pass the disciplining duties to for a back talking 2 year old, I think Ellie and I have almost grown accustom to this emptiness.

I think its safe to say that my stubborn 33 month old daughter is POTTY TRAINED! Now of course she still has her accidents every now then but it usually is no more than 2 in a day. I haven't really wanted to blog about it because I seemed to jinx myself every time I said something. How did I conquer this beast you ask?? I completely put it in my Ellie's hands. I didn't tell her she needed to wear big girl pants, I didn't tell her she needed to hurry and sit on the potty, I let her do her own thing. Guess what. It worked beautifully. This just goes to show how unbelievably stubborn she is. When I would put a pull up on her she was always completely devastated. She wanted to wear those cute big girl pants so bad. I would tell her that those big girl pants are especially for girls that make sure that her pees and poops go in the potty and not in her pants.
One morning Ellie woke up took her pull up off and threw on some under roos. She was so ready.

She was basically changing her own bum. Whenever her pull up got really soggy she would go up in her room take it off, wipe, and put a new pull up on. Sad I know.
But she was ready to wear some cute tinker bell undies and be a big responsible girl.
I am defiantly making this potty training thing sound a lot easier then it was. She went on and off for about a month one day she would be completely accident free and the next day she refused to set foot in the bathroom and would put a pull up on herself.
She is one tough cookie to deal with thats all I can say.

I have been trying to keep myself busy and in the process i have gotten a little better at this craftiness. We will see if this progress keeps continuing.
It seems like I am constantly sick lately. Ugh its killing me I don't know what has been going on.
I have finally succeeded at getting Ellie to at least fall asleep in her room. She still sneaks in my room in the middle of the night but hey we are just takin baby steps.
I shipped Jordon a laptop recently and we have been able to 'Skype' every night. I get to see his handsome face! In some ways it makes it easier but in some ways it makes it so much harder.

I say that Ellie and I have grown accustom to having Jordon gone, but in no way shape or form has it gotten easier.
I still have that constant pain in my chest. That feeling of always knowing my husband wont be coming home tonight. It just has become the 'norm' for us.
But dangit WE ARE ALMOST THERE!!!!
I have been trying to keep positive as much as possible. But that can be hard when people like to throw their opinions at you all the time. But hey, things wouldn't be as interesting if you didn't have those fun people in your life. Right?
I have another tripped planned to go see him in October!
so soo SOO excited.

Artimus

2010-09-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Ardie!

Yesterday Sept. 5th was our doggy's 2nd birthday.

I find this a big milestone for us because since me and Jordon have been married we have had 4 different dogs. First was Lily, she was a chow mix. Jordon and I got her while we were dating. While my in-laws were building there new house Lily would run back and forth from their old house to their new house. Then the pound picked her up. By the time we found out she was gone Jordon called the pound right after someone picked her up. Jordon was devastated, and we are pretty sure someone in our neighborhood has her. Jordon has been pretty tempted to steal her.

Then there was a stupid dog we called Nugget. He was a Jack Russel Terrier. We got him from the Humane Society. They gave us a 10 day trial to decide if we wanted to adopt him for sure. Thank Goodness.

We got him when I was gigantic pregnant. We had him for three days and I called Jordon at work and said, "He is headed back to the Humane Society." I bawled the entire time, but that was the best decision I ever made. That dog was crazy.

Then came Maggie. She was a mix of just about everything. I was in love with her. I had Ellie when we had her so she went to Jordon's parents when we went to the hospital. She was the fattest puppy in the whole world. She was the only dog we had that was never picky about what she ate. Then while she was at the in-laws their fence blew down and she disappeared.

Last was Marley. She was a border collie german short hair mix. We had her for a pretty long time.

Then one day she got parvo. We took her to the vet and he basically told us we could try and give her some medicine and pray she would get better but she most likely wouldn't. Well I wasn't going to just not try so we got the medicine and took her home. I did everything I could to make sure she would be ok, and a week later she was! But ever since she got sick she was never the same dog. She didn't seem happy. So Jordon and I decided to try and find her a better home, and I defiantly think we did. We gave her to this sweet lil ol' lady who lived on a big farm. The lady was so excited when she saw her.

Yeah so we have been through our fair share of dogs. But I love animals. So does Jordon. We went a while without any doggies after Marley. We were sad about her. We loved her but we knew she wasn't happy so we knew we had to give her up.

I have always wanted a little dog. ALWAYS. Jordon said I wasn't allowed to get any little dog besides a toy australian shepherd cause they are the least girlie lookin dogs.

I didn't think we would ever get one though because they can be so expensive.

But one day I was just browsing the KSL classifieds and found an ad for toy australian shepherd puppies. It said they would take cash or be willing to trade a puppy for a wii or playstation 2. We had a playstaion 2 that Jordon never played with so I did a little coaxing with Jordon and long story short we got the cutest little puppy I ever did see!!

I love Ardie. He has defiantly been the best dog ever.

I decided instead of having another kid we will just get another dog.

HAHAHAHAHA

funny.

Crafty Crap.

2010-09-04T12:01:00.000-07:00

I think I am mentally challenged when it comes to being crafty. Seriously.
In my mind I am amazing at it. I have all these super cute ideas in my head and I get so excited to make it. But when I actually start making it, it's like it all gets lost in translation and usually looks like a big pile of poops. I don't even know what happens.
I have always wanted to make my own hair clips for Ellie but yeah... Never works out. Sewing... *sigh
Let's not even go there. Don't you worry if I ever finish Ellie's quilt I will take a nice picture of it and post it to prove my point. Sure it looks good from a distance but just don't look up close.
I have been crocheting, I'm not terrible at it but my finished product never looks like the picture on the pattern..
I have been trying to paint a lil thing for Ellie's room and I have started over about 6 times. I used to be pretty good at painting. It's like this mom brain totally mooshed up my craft skills. I'm a lil upset about this. I thought becoming a mom was suppose to make you crafty? I don't even know.
Don't you worry though, I'm not going to give up. Someday I will get the hang of this.

Jordon with an O

2010-09-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

Jordon started his classes on Aug. 25th. He goes to class from 4 until Midnight. Weird hours right?
I think he has been liking it, he said it's really interesting. So hopefully he will like his job because he will be doing it for the next 4 years. He has a lot of free time. I just shipped him our ipod and got him a laptop so that we can do skype.
Basically my time is spent on the phone with him or texting him. I miss him.. :( Our anniversary is coming up. THREE YEARS! Can you believe it?? I can't. I'm hoping I will at least be able to visit him sometime around our anniversary. If I do go visit him I basically need someone older to come with me cause ya know I'm duss a lil girl and can't get a rental car, and some hotels wont let anyone under 21 check-in. So unless I want to spend a bajillion dollars on a taxi and make sure Jordon can come check in to the hotel for me, I would really love someone to come with me.
Isn't that so silly that I can get married and have a baby but I can't rent a car or a hotel? It's ok, I will be 21 in March.
I would love to move to Georgia so I could see him all the time, but right now it's not looking very realistic. I'm still going to try though.
Jordon's classes got cut shorter. He was suppose to graduate in January but since it's so close to Christmas break they are just going to finish before Christmas break so that will be very nice. Unless he gets chosen to do advanced training, then we will have to stay an extra 8 weeks.
But ya that is basically whats going on with us, wishing and praying that the next four months will fly by.

Never a Dull Moment

2010-08-25T08:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while I was doing some laundry Ellie was playing on my bed. As I was walking past my doorway I heard a loud CRACK. Just thinking about that noise makes my stomach hurt.
Ellie was screaming and grabbing her face and I put her head up to my chest to comfort her. I got her to move her hands away from her face and there was blood everywhere. I thought for sure she broke her nose.
I think what she tried to do was belly flop on to the pillows and went just a little to far and smacked the side of her nose and cheek right on the corner of our headboard.
I took her into the bathroom and had her tilt her head back while I held the washcloth on her nose. Her nose swelled instantly and she had a nice red line going across her cheek and nose, with a little cut along the line of her nostril.
My mom came in to help while I grabbed the phone to call her doctor.
I never know what to do in those situations so I figure now that we have good insurance I will just take her into the Doctor. I would rather be safe than sorry.
The doctor got me in right away. After promising Ellie that she wasn't going to get a shot she gave in and we headed to the doctor.
The doctor took a look at everything and said she was to swollen to be able to tell if it was broken or not. He said it is extremely hard for little kids to brake their nose and it rarely happens. But when the swelling goes down and her nose looks crooked or she is breathing weird then I should bring her back in.
She hasn't been acting like its bugging her or anything, so thats good. She is still extremely swollen, I think she is more swollen than she was yesterday.

I let her get donuts to make her feel better. That's whats all over her face. Ellie is a picker and keeps picking her cut. ugh.

We defiantly have been blessed with Ellie. She has never had any super serious injuries. When she was learning to walk she hit our shelves and bit all the way through her lip and I took her to urgent care but didn't need any stitches or anything. Kids are crazy. My sister said it perfectly, "If they aren't making your heart drop they are talking back to you, and you enjoy every second."

Enjoying Every Second

2010-08-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

Our flight left at 7:55 a.m Wednesday morning, I woke up at a bright and early 4 a.m. With absolutely no trouble. Every second was filled with anticipation.

I couldn't believe I was actually going to see him!

When I got on the plane I was pretty nervous. I'm not big on flying.

But no worries I didn't even cry!!!

Ellie got to sit next to the window and was so excited when we started moving. She looked out the window the whole time. Until we took off and the plane turned so you could see the ground. She got pretty nervous and made me wrap my arms around her and said, "Don't let me fall!"

But for the rest of it she did just fine, and actually enjoyed it.

I did too. I don't think I will be as nervous to go by myself next time.

The condo we stayed at was absolutely gorgeous!

This is what we got to look at when we stepped onto our balcony. I was sad we were only staying for three days. I would love to visit there again some day. Sooo pretty.

Although Missouri is full of crazy bugs, and gigantic spider webs EVERYWHERE. Doug my father in law almost ran over a turtle and a possum. It was interesting. haha

Our condo was 50 miles from Fort Leonard Wood. Oh my goodness I could hardly sleep Wednesday night. I woke up at 5:00 (4:00 Utah time) the next morning to get ready to see my husband! My father in law swears I woke up at 3:00 but I swear I didn't.

When the time finally came to start heading to the Bakers Theater I couldn't believe it. While we were walking up to the building people that had their graduation earlier that day were meeting with their families and that's when the tears started. I was going to see him it just a few minutes! Ah it felt like a dream.

The graduation ceremony was very nice. I was sitting at the end of the aisle and across the aisle was were everyone that was graduating was sitting. Jordon was sitting a few rows back from us. They were not allowed to look over at you or wave or speak or anything. I'm sure Ellie made that super hard for Jordon. She kept looking back at him and trying to look all cute for him and blowing kisses at him and saying, "Daddy! Come get me!" I had to hold her back from going over to him. It was so cute.

After the graduation we finally got to be with him. AHH best feeling ever!

Ellie was so concerned about Daddy not having any hair. She kept saying, "Daddy you need to get your hair back! Its all gone!" She even got so upset about it she started crying. But we let her rub his head and play with it and she wasn't so worried anymore. The first thing Ellie tells everyone about her dad is that he has no hair!

We got to be with Jordon from 12:00 until 8:00, so we took him back to the condo and got some frozen custard on the way there. Mmmm it was delicious.

Jordon savored every bite. Its been awhile since he had something like that.

For the rest of the day we just sat, relaxed, and enjoyed each others company. Ellie had to have Daddy's attention at all times. She kept telling him she wanted to dance for him so we turned on the radio and she put on a little recital for everyone. Of course Ellie was on her best behavior for her dad, listened to every word he said and ate all of her dinner for him.

Oh my goodness I loved watching them together. Jordon is such a good Dad.

The whole time I was with him I had to be touching him at all times to make sure he was really there. I was a freak really. ha ha But he said he loved it so no worries.

The day went so fast and it felt like we were only together for a second, but it was so worth it. I defiantly think that being with him again made it harder for me but I would do it again in a second of course. I am so proud of him. He is defiantly making the most of this experience and giving it his all. When he got to Georgia they gave him all weekend off basically, and I told him, "Well that's good now you can just rest and take a break." Jordon said, "No I don't want to rest I want to get to work so I can be with you again."

AMAZING.

ugh, I can't even describe it. I am just so proud of him and the man that he has become. He is an amazing person and I am extremely lucky to have him as my husband.

He gets a lot of time off for his AIT. He goes to school until 4 and then has the most of the day to himself including weekends. He hasn't started school yet. He doesn't think he will start for another week. He said he has so much freedom its scary, he doesn't know what to do with himself.

He has his phone with him for good now and we have been talking non stop. I feel so spoiled!

I'm going to try and visit him soon. Maybe for Labor day weekend because he gets 4 days off, but we aren't sure. But when I do go to visit him we will be doing some apartment shopping because me and Ellie will hopefully be joining him in Georgia!!!!!! I'm so excited. Augusta is the closest town to Fort Gordon, its only ten minutes away. I have been looking stuff up about it since I have gotten home. It looks soo beautiful, and rent is pretty cheap. I already have a list of apartments to look at. I hope we can really do this cause it would be amazing!

It would be crazy but a fun adventure. I'm ready for some adventures in my life!

I can't wait!

Ready to Roll

2010-08-17T15:21:00.000-07:00

Almost there!

After a fun day of spending some time with my bestest friend Cicely and shopping for a cute top to wear when I see Jordon
trying on that top with about 5 different pairs of pants to see which looked absolutely perfect
picking out every single item of clothing for me and Ellie to wear for our little trip
making sure that every piece of laundry is clean
scrubbing down Ellie's car seat
making the perfect list of everything I need to bring with us
planning out little activities that can keep Ellie busy on the airplane
making sure my camera battery is fully charged
a brief moment of anxiety of 'oh my heck I have to fly on an airplane, I hate flying. What if this happens, this, this, or this.'
a nice early visit from Aunt Flo just in time to join us on our trip
breathe, I'm going to see my husband after 10 weeks!

Ok we are ready to go!!!!!!!! I'm so excited. I have wanted to make sure I have everything absolutely perfect so I wont have anything to stress me out when I finally get my moment to be with Jordon. I just want to enjoy this trip stress free so I can concentrate on my family being together. It feels like I haven't seen Jordon in FOREVER. It just doesn't even feel real that I'm actually going to see him on THURSDAY!!!
I know there is a chance of him not being able to spend very much time with us but whatever we get will be so worth it. I'm so excited to see Ellie's reaction when she sees her daddy again. It makes me wanna cry just thinking about it. She is so excited to see him. She is also super excited to fly on an airplane! Every time she sees one in the sky she yells out, "AIRPLANE! I'M GOING ON ONE OF THOSE TO SEE MY DADDY!" She is cute. I think it will be a super fun trip.

2010-08-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

The hardest thing for me while Jordon has been gone has been the one thing I thought would be the easiest.
Being a mother to Ellie.
There have been times that I just would sit in my room and cry, feeling like the worst mother. Ellie is the most beautiful girl in the world and I love her more than life itself, I would give anything for her.

As of right now, I am seriously considering permanent birth control.

Ellie has had so much anger. She punches everything in sight. She thinks it's the greatest thing in the world to tell me no and throw tantrums in public. She absolutely refuses to go to nursery. Every time I try to get her to sleep in her own bed, she cries until she vomits, even if I'm laying in her bed with her. She screams for her daddy when she gets in trouble. Tells me she hates me and says she doesn't want me anymore.
At first I was just like pff whatever Ellie. But now, its wearing on me. It breaks my heart.
I might as well forget about taking her with me to go out with friends. I'm sure she has been a good advocate for celibacy.
I have had many many chats with her about keeping her hands to herself, saying nice words, and obeying the adults.
I send her to her room, take away cartoons, send her to the corner, whatever. But nothing seems to work. I don't even know what to do. Being a momma is a lot harder than I expected.
She is a stubborn stubborn girl. She takes after her mother way to much. Yeah I said it, zip it.
The hardest thing for me is that I know she is acting like this cause her dad isn't around. It kills me to know that it is affecting her like this. Don't get me wrong she defiantly had her moments when Jordon was here, but she has taken it to a whole new level. I cant help but think where did my sweet baby Ellie go? The one that just wanted to snuggle you all day and didn't know how to yell at you? She learned out to walk and talk. That's what happened.
Ellie and I are working on it though and I'm not going to give up. It's just another hurdle in this thing called life and we are going to conquer the crap out of it.

X Infinity.

2010-08-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

There is no better part of the day than when the mail comes. Ahh, I'm obsessed. It feels like Christmas.
Of course only on the days that I receive a beautiful letter from a certain PVT KINSMAN.
I have a whole routine.
Usually I have a letter that I send out just about every day, so that little flag stands up patiently awaiting for the mail man to whisk that letter away to its final destination. That little flag also helps me out so I don't have to walk to the mail box ten times a day to see if anything has arrived yet. Which I find myself doing every time.

Then the mail arrives.
I slowly walk to the mail box. (Don't want to look to desperate) Take out that beautiful stack of mail. Walk back to the house as I look through it eagerly. When I do receive that letter, I smile, and participate in a little dance the rest of the way to the door. Oh but I don't open it right away. First I sort out everyone's mail. Then I look through any other mail I might have gotten. Then I walk upstairs into my bedroom, close the door, lay on my bed and look at that letter just a little longer. Ahh I savor every second. I drink in the anticipation of what he might say in this letter. Then very carefully I open it up and take my time reading every word, and then read it once more.
I love his letters.
Jordon was never that romantic. But every letter that he has sent me has said the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. Every time I have a hard time with something the next letter I get from him will say exactly what I needed to hear.

It's because we are meant to be my friends.

These letters will be something that I will always cherish. I'm keeping these babies forever.
Not only because he says the sweetest things in them but also because he says things like, I will never have to change another diaper, or clean the dishes ever again. So yes, they will be great to pull out when I just don't feel like doing a chore that day. HA HA
I'm teasing, sort of.
I love how much our relationship has grown these past two months. I think Heavenly Father had many different motives of why Jordon needed to join the Army, and bringing us closer must be one of them. I have a whole new love for him. I didn't think I could love him any more than I already did before he left, but it defiantly has grown more than I could have ever imagined.

On Sunday Jordon called and let me know that he passed his Final PT test with flying colors!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't be more proud of him!!!! I knew he was going to rock it. Now he just needs to make it through 10 more days and he will be finished with basic training. HE'S SO CLOSE!!! I'm so stinkin proud of him and I love his guts!!!

(super duper old picture of us while we were dating. We were extremely attractive. obviously)

TEN MORE DAYS UNTIL I SEE HIM!!!

Accept it, Learn From it.

2010-08-04T15:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie and say these last 8 weeks have just breezed by. I have gone through a range of emotions. I honestly, truly thought I could handle this with no problem, just a walk in the park. Yeah, farthest thing from it.
It sucks to not have your best friend there. Jordon is the only one that truly understands my craziness. He would always let me dump everything on him. So that is where this blog comes in. Ha.
I have had many moments where I just wanted to say, "OK that was fun, time to come back home now. I can't do this anymore."
But of course, that wouldn't exactly work. It feels like someone ripped out my heart and I'm waiting for its return.
On Sunday Jordon gets to call sometimes. I have so gratefully received one just about every Sunday. I love letters, they are all romantic and cute. But there is nothing like hearing that voice you are so madly in love with.
Through this experience I have truly realized how much I have taken for granted. It's sad that something like this has to happen to realize it.
On Monday Jordon had his final PT test. This test will determine if he graduates from Basic Training or if he has to go through it all again. Unfortunately I probably wont find out how he did until I get that beloved phone call on Sunday. I have been a little stressed about it, but I know he rocked it. He has been workin his tooshie off.
I hate not being able to be there to cheer him on and show him my support.
My last Sunday phone call Jordon told me his Drill Sargent told them they would get deployed to Iraq within the first year. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach. Through this whole process I wouldn't let the thought of him being deployed even enter my head. Of course I knew it would happen, but him just saying it made it that more real. Its only been 2 months, I can't even imagine how its going to be for a whole year.
But the deed is done, there is nothing I can do about it. I just have to accept it and hope this experience makes us a stronger couple.
On the upside only two more weeks until I get to go see him!!! I have never been more excited about anything in my life!

Ah I love how he is kissing me in this picture. Gives me butterflies.

Wake Up

2010-08-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

It seems to never fail when you finally feel like you can breathe a sigh of relief, and get use to this routine, something comes up behind you and smacks you on the butt. Hard.

Just a friendly reminder of, "HEY! Life will never be easy."

Fast Forward

2010-07-27T15:31:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that I basically have my entire house planned out?
*sigh, What a marvelous day it will be when Jordon and I have a place of our own where we can just be together and raise our family.
Jordon and I are magazine FREAKS. We love Cottage Living, Better Homes and Gardens, all of those house decorating magazines. We use to buy one just about every month. I have a huge stack of magazines in my room. Will I ever throw them away? Heck no. I love them to much.
Since Jordon has left I have refrained from buying them. I get WAY to excited to have a place of our own when I look at them. I basically start twitching.
And besides it's so much more fun to look at them with Jordon, so we can discuss house plans. Jordon gets way into it too. Is it sort of gay that he loves looking at home decor? A little, but it's one of my favorite things about him. What wife doesn't dream of a husband that doesn't complain when she asks him to go furniture shopping with her, and gets into just as much as her? I sure do! And I'm living that dream! I love it, and he comes up with some super cute ideas, sometimes.
I never would have thought I would get so into decorating my house. I love it. I would almost consider going into it as a career. Almost.

We are so close to having that place of our own, even if we are renting. As long as we have our privacy I will be happy.
About 22 weeks to go.

Emotionally Ready

2010-07-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

*sigh* I am very upset about this post.
I feel like a big fat FAILURE at being a mom.
After an extremely long weekend of more pee and poopies in the panties then in the toilet, and a joyful surprise of little girl poop ALL OVER her bedroom floor, I caved. I pulled out a diaper and put it back on that lil bum of hers, and cried.
Now if I must I will go into more detail, and I must plead my case.
It started on Friday.
Ellie would only go on the potty if I put her there, and even if I had her sit on the toilet for 10 minutes as soon as she would get off she would pee. Saturday was even worse. I would take her to the bathroom every 30 minutes and she still managed to pee or poop her panties EVERY single time. Sunday was a little better. She went through all of church with no accidents, but as soon as we got home the accidents started again.
After a long night of cleaning pee all over my bed I was already at my end. This morning was the icing on the cake. After having a pee accident I sat her on the toilet for a while, then had her go in her room to get some panties while I waited for her in the bathroom. Then I hear her cousin Maddie yell, "ELLIE POOPED IN HER ROOM!!"
oh my gosh.
That's when the diapers came back out.
Thankfully Ellie had a doctor's appointment today and I told him my dilemma with the potty training. He made me feel a little less like a crappy mother.
He said she sounded physically ready to be potty trained but with everything that is going on in her life right now she just isn't emotionally ready. He said taking a break for a couple of weeks and trying again would be the best thing.
I'm not going to lie, I'm completely devastated. I am so done with diapers.
Someday we will get this potty training thing figured out. Right now I think Ellie and I are just to emotionally and physically exhausted to continue.
As soon as the diapers came back out both of us were so much happier. She did so good at her doctor's. She even got two shots and barely even cried.

I have to share this little story to end on a fun note. It is disgusting but I think it's the funniest thing I have ever heard.
So Ellie has discovered pads. (as in that time of the month, pads) She sees these in the bathroom and says, "Mom, why you gots these poo stamps?"
bahahahhaha
I don't even know what to say to this so I just say, "Big girls like mommy have to use these sometimes."
Ellie says, "Can I wear a poo stamp?"
Me, "When you are big like Mommy you will wear them." Ellie,"But I want to wear a poo stamp NOW."
Me, "Oh honey it will come soon enough."

So after Ellie's doctors appointment we were in the car and I said, "Ellie you did so good with your shots! You are such a big girl I am so proud of you!" Ellie replies with, "Since I am so big can I wear your poo stamps now?"

I almost peed.
She kills me.
Where she got to call them poo stamps I don't have the slightest clue. The name is pretty gross, but pretty stinkin hilarious.

Pee, Poop, Panties.. My life.

2010-07-23T20:58:00.000-07:00

So it has been 5 days of potty training. It is still extremely difficult. She usually has about 3 accidents a day. She is doing good, but it wears on you. Fast.
She defiantly has her days. Some days she will go to the bathroom on her own, and some days she wont go on the potty without me telling her to go. I try to get her to go at LEAST once every hour.
I am extremely proud to say that she hasn't peed the bed once since we have been potty training. WOOT!
She hasn't earned any prizes yet though because she hasn't had any accident free days.
Truth be told, I'm tired. How the heck do people have children in diapers and children potty training at the same time? This is a full time job, I can't even imagine have a little baby hanging around too. It is defiantly a good thing we decided to wait for number 2.
Anyone have any tips on staying motivated?? I'm running low.

Patience is a Virtue

2010-07-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

While Ellie was sick we decided to take a little break from going potty on the toilet. She was so miserable I didn't want to add to it. On Monday Ellie and I decided to jump back into the potty training full force!
I found some great tips on potty training at
http://www.simplymodernmom.com/2010/07/22-potty-training-tips-for-modern-moms/
Not to mention it's a super cute site.
Ellie kept asking to wear big girl pants while she was sick but I really wanted to wait till she was feeling better. We were both exhausted. It's tough stuff taking care of a sick girl by yourself when your use to getting those breaks after 5:00 p.m.
Anyways, one of the tips on simply modern mom was throw a potty party. Yes I do think this is a little ridiculous but I knew Ellie would love it, and it would get her excited. I didn't exactly throw one the way they gave ideas to, but I took Ellie shopping, let her pick some more undies out, let her pick some little treats out for days with no accidents, and got her a little step stool to help her get on the potty. We made her a big poster board so that when she went potty on the toilet with out having an accident first she could go put a sticker on it. Ellie is a sticker freak so I hoped this would be a good motivator. She got really excited to go potty. The treats I let her pick out are great motivators. If I ask her to go potty on the toilet and she says no cause she is playing, I'll say, "Ellie remember if you have accidents then your don't get your treat." Then she will drop everything and run to the toilet.
Everyone that has given me advice has said, "PATIENCE PATIENCE PATIENCE." OK telling me isn't going to give me any. The first time we started, I wanted to throw in the towel after accident number 2. But I knew that if I gave up Ellie would give up. Which is another tip on Modern Mom, Be consistent! Which obviously I suck at.
So apparently I had more to work on then Ellie did. Ellie wasn't the only one being trained!
I also think I'm secretly hoping she will stay in diapers longer cause that would mean she is still a baby.. She will no longer be a baby in big girl pants! Hence the name, BIG GIRL pants.
On Monday before me and Ellie went back to potty training I gave myself a little pep talk. Ellie is so ready, she wants to be in big girl pants. She was devastated when she was sick and had to wear diapers. I need to be the one to encourage her and help her out. This will be my true test of patience.
Plus Jordon will be so ECSTATIC when he finds out his little girl is potty trained.
That is MY motivator.
So this time around I think me and Ellie went into it with a way better attitude. The first time we did it, I threw some panties on her and told her to go get em tiger.
Can you tell I'm a first time Mom? Good grief. It's a learning experience that's for sure.
OK so Day 1 is over, NO accidents. NONE at all. Even through the night. Hallelujah. I didn't even have to keep reminding her every time. She would start running to the bathroom and yell out, "I HAVE TO GO POTTY!"
This never happened before. The only time she ever went potty last time was if I told her to go. Oh my goodness I could hyperventilate I am so excited.
I'm such a proud mommy right now. She is so big. And she looks pretty stinkin cute running around in a t-shirt and tinker bell undies.
Oh yeah another good tip from Simply Modern Moms (well all of the tips were good!) was to make them sit on the toilet until they go. I never did that before, if she said she was done I would let her jump off and 5 seconds later she would have an accident. Now I make her sit on there for awhile and sure enough she will go potty, a lot!
WOO! We can do this, We CAN do this.

Sick BayBeh

2010-07-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

So Ellie Ruth has strep throat. :(

I feel so bad! We attempted staying in St. George for awhile but ended up coming back yesterday (good thing) because Ellie was just so grumpy and miserable. I feel terrible for dragging her everywhere! She kept saying her teeth hurt so I figured her molars were just pushing the rest of the way through. But she just kept getting worse and worse and I decided to head back home and take her to the doctor.

Having a sick child is the worse. You just feel so terrible and there really isn't anything you can do to take the pain away. It breaks my heart.

The Doctor gave us an antibiotic so we are crossing our fingers she gets better fast, and no one else gets sick!

Everyone was so worried about us driving down to St. George with just me and Ellie, but I must say it was way relaxing! Ellie does amazing in the car. Especially for a sick little girl. It was especially nice to not have anyone bug us! ha. It was nice, just wish Ellie wasn't sick.

Oh yeah Jordon's parents and I are planning on flying out to Jordon's Basic Training Graduation on August 19th. I am so excited I could pee. I can't wait to see him! Even if it is only for a little bit, it will be so worth it!

He has been writing lots of letters and said he is starting to enjoy it. He said he has been making a lot of good friends. He is the only LDS one there and a lot of people have been asking him about the church. So he is getting his missionary work in too! Me and Ellie have been missing him like crazy but there isn't much we can do about it. Except count down the days and pray it goes by fast! He is half way done with basic. 24 weeks left!

Picture Perfect

2010-07-13T23:07:00.000-07:00

I was looking through my pictures and found this thing. It speaks the truth. Notice how Tom and Jordon are looking at each other like they are secretly in love and me and Emily are in the background looking at each other and saying, oh good hell.

Potty Dance

2010-07-09T21:02:00.000-07:00

We are officially potty training. We have been giving it a try off and on for a long time but I don't think Ellie was ever ready. Yesterday she came up to me and said, "Mom can I wear big girl panties and go on the big girl potty?" and of course I answered with an enthusiastic YES!

Pull ups do not work for Ellie. She just thinks they are like diapers and does her business as soon as they are on.

No matter how much I tell her she isn't suppose to. So we are going straight to undies.

She loves wearing them and has to show her Grandparents every chance she gets.

When she does have an accident she hurries and tells me cause she doesn't like sitting in wet panties.

With pull ups she couldn't care less.

I ask her if she needs to go potty every 5 seconds and make her sit on the potty just about every 10-15 minutes.

I know we are only on day 2 but holy moly...... please tell me it gets easier!

She is losing interest fast. I have to make her go to the bathroom.

She gets angry every time cause I am interrupting her play time! HELLO MOM!

I made her go to the bathroom when she was in the middle of playing and she freaked. "I DON'T WANT TO WEAR BIG GIRL PANTIES ANYMORE!"

But no. I'm not giving up. I really really hate diapers. But I really don't want her to have a negative outlook on going potty in the toilet. I had her wear big girl undies to bed last night and she didn't even pee the bed! She got up in the middle of the night and had to go potty and on the walk to the bathroom she had an accident but I was ecstatic it wasn't in the bed and that she actually got up to go!

I know she can do it, it's just getting her to stop playing and use the potty.

Ellie wants those ugly twinkle toe sketchers. The really sparkly shoes. I have never seen her want something so bad. So I told her that if she doesn't have any accidents then I would get them for her.

Sometimes it works but not really. I do stickers to and money. They work sometimes but she loses interest fast.

It's wearing me out. Anyone have any advice for me? I don't have the slightest clue what I'm doing..

Ellie picked up on everything else super fast. I guess she had to have something that we actually had to work at.

PLEASE HELP!

Californiaaaaaa

2010-07-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

I think I have the most AMAZING dads in my life. I have truly been blessed. First of all my dad.

Stuart Warren Welch.

You have only wanted the very best for me. Although it was hard for me to see that at times I defiantly see it now.

You sacrificed so much for your family and I am so grateful for that.

You are the best Grandpa to Ellie and I love seeing you two together.

Thank you for loving me no matter what.

Second my Father in Law

Dougie Fresh. :)

Thank you for welcoming me into your family with open arms, and making me feel part of the family.

You defiantly don't let me hide behind Jordon, and you guilt me into going on family trips :)

and sometimes your a brat. But your my Dad now and I love you for making me feel uncomfortable at times. It's good for me.

Thank you for raising such an amazing son who knows right from wrong, and knows how important family is.

I know I'm the daughter you always wished you had and I'm your favorite child.

It's ok there is no need to say it. I know. haha

I love the way Ellie has made you a softee. Your an amazing Grandpa.

And to the Most important Dad in my life,

Jordon Emery.

When we found out I was pregnant, you could have easily just walked away.

But you stood by my side through it all and made sure you were the one taking care of me.

I couldn't have asked for a better man to be the father of my children.

Ellie can never get enough of you.

She is defiantly a daddy's girl and I love that.

You are so amazing at being a dad.

I have never met a little kid that didn't love your guts.

Thank you for sacrificing so much for your family.

I can't wait to have more babies with you and watch you raise them.

I love you.

Happy Father's Day!

VOTE FOR GRANDPA!!

2010-06-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

For those of you who do not know, my father in law Doug Kinsman is running for Tooele County Surveyor.

So to try and get his name out there Jeri has been trying to get involved in everything the city has going on.

On Friday the city had a chalk art contest and Jeri asked me to help out.

So we busted out our VOTE FOR DOUG shirts and got busy.

It was a lot of fun. Jeri and I busted out all of our amazing art skills and drew up a pretty awesome picture.

In honor of Jordon of course :)

This is kind of a weird angle so his head looks really small but it looks better in person... promise.

Everybody is suppose to go vote for their favorite picture today on main street.

Unfortunately the sprinklers came on at night only in front of our picture, of course.

So this morning half of our picture was missing.

Jeri and I hurried and gathered up our chalk and got busy re-creating our art.

It is good as new now, thankfully. I was so devastated when I saw half of it was gone. I wanted to punch someone. But I held my composer.

So everyone in Tooele GO VOTE FOR OUR PICTURE TODAY!!!!!

and then on Tuesday go vote for Doug Kinsman!!!

For more info on Doug Kinsman running for County Surveyor go to

http://dougkinsman.blogspot.com/

Always With Us

2010-06-18T13:35:00.000-07:00

I started keeping a little journal of all the funny things Ellie says and does and just of our daily adventures for Jordon.
I don't want him feeling like he missed out on Ellie growing up, so hopefully this will help.
I have always wanted to keep a journal of us and this is the perfect excuse to get me started. Hopefully I will have enough fun stories to write about to fill up the book quickly and send it to him so he can have something with him.
I'm not to worried about that, with Ellie, there is never a dull moment.

Since Jordon has signed up for the Active Military a lot of people have asked us where we wanted to move and what if we had to move here or there. (For those of you who don't know, we have to move where ever the Army stations Jordon. Which could be in the U.S or on the other side of the world.)
Now there are defiantly a couple of places that I would really not want to go, and some places that would be so fun to live in. But whatever happens happens.
Lately I have been feeling like this isn't where I should be. It hasn't felt like home to me since Jordon has left.
And now I know it doesn't matter where we get stationed, as long as we are all together it is going to be our home. And I know Heavenly Father will send us to where ever he needs us to be.
I am so excited to find out where we are going to end up. The anticipation is going to kill me.
Jordon and I were talking about it one night and I said it's not going to matter where we get stationed because anywhere we go is going to be a new experience because we both grew up in Utah, and anywhere is going to be fun after living with my parents for over a year. : P

I was able to get a phone call from Jordon on Wednesday. He said he hated it for the time being. He doesn't like anyone that is in his group. He said he has to keep yelling at them cause they think they don't have to listen to anybody.
I was like MY Jordon is the one who is telling people to listen?! I'm so proud! ha ha
I hope it starts getting better for him.
He told me he might be able to call me on Sunday and actually talk longer then 5 minutes, if they are good. So it might not happen.
He shouldn't have told me cause I know when Sunday comes around and I don't get a phone call from him I'm going to be devastated...
I love him and miss him terribly.. Apparently everyone knew this was going to be extremely hard besides me. I honestly didn't think is was going to be this hard.. I thought I would be just fine. But it seems like time is going by soo incredibly slow.
I have a couple things going on later in the month so hopefully I can keep myself busy and that will help.

10 days down.

I'd Love To

2010-06-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

I would love to actually want to clean, and maybe sometimes even enjoy it.

I would love to be amazing at sewing and just whip up a cute outfit for Ellie whenever I pleased.

I would love to be good at taking pictures. So I could capture all those amazing moments and be able to feel the same way I felt when they happened, and share those feelings with others.

I would love to start playing the piano again and not get frustrated after 5 minutes.

I would love to be better at expressing myself.

I would love to be better at budgeting my money.

I would love to want to go to the gym and push myself to my limits.

I would love not to be so stinkin' shy!

I would love to push myself out of my comfort zone.

I would love to bring myself closer to my church.

I would love to be the best Mother and Wife I could possibly be.

My goal for while Jordon is gone is to push myself to actually do these things, maybe not completely but at least get started, so that I can better myself not just for me but for my family.

Ba HA

2010-06-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

When Jordon and I got married we danced to the Spill Canvas "This is for Keeps"
We always liked some of the lyrics it in like 'eternity would never be enough' and others. It was nice and romantic and cheesey. I finally realized that this song is about Vampires...
Jordon tried telling me this before but I didn't listen.. Good grief.

This Is For Keeps
The streets are dark, my pulse is flat-lined
as I'm running to you
You sit completely unaware of what I'm about to do
The air is thick with tension much like when we are together
My fangs are aching as I'm pondering about you and I forever
As I round the corner
I am nervous that you wont be my lover
I knock three time and hope that my pale complexion wont blow my cover
You answer the door with you innocent face
Would you like to leave this human race, tonight?
Eternity will never be enough for
and eternally we'll live our infallible love
My brain is pumping an unusual secretion of lust
Your eyes are softer now
and your chin, it drips a bloody color of rust
I am raising up the stakes of this round, I am playing for keeps
Oh, would you like to leave this human race, tonight?
Eternity will never be enough for me
and eternally we'll live our infallible love
Follow me into the sea
We'll drown together and immortalize you and me
Leave behind this lonely town
We're both better than this, it's not worth being down
Eternity will never be enough for me
and eternally we'll live our infallible love
Follow me into the sea
We'll drown together and immortalize you and me
Leave behing this lonely town (eternally)
We're both better than this, it's not worth being down (eternally)

Appologizes.

2010-06-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

I know I promised I wouldn't let Ellie sleep in my bed while you were gone Jordon...

I put her in her bed the first night.

The second night I threw it out the window.

She has been falling asleep next to me every night since.

I need someone to fall asleep with.

Good thing you knew that would happen from the beginning.

What can I say, its not the same without you.

4 nights down.

A good Good bye

2010-06-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

Last week was a lot of fun. Super busy but so much fun. On Wednesday my sister-in-law Nattilee had me come in to her school and get a fun little make over, then we had dinner with our fams at a yummy wing restaurant.

Thursday my sister Bethany treated all the brides-maids to pedicures and me and my sister Kelma splurged and got our nails done.

Friday Jordon me and Ellie all had a day at the zoo. We were having so much fun but had to cut it short because my sister's rehearsal dinner was that night. So we went to that and hung out with all the crazy Welch kids.

Then on Saturday it was my sisters wedding. I was the matron of honor and Ellie was one of three flower girls. Ellie was soo stinkin cute! She did so good going down the aisle. At the end of the aisle she still had petals left so she tried to hurry and throw the rest out in one spot. Then in the middle of the ceremony Ellie asked me if she could do it again.

On Sunday we threw Jordon a fun little going away dinner. A lot more people then I anticipated came. It was so nice to have everyone there and support Jordon, and the food was delish.

On Monday Jordon me and Ellie went into Salt Lake and got Jordon some military garmys. Then went and hung out at the Gateway. Fortunately for us they were giving away free Jell-o and we sat on the steps watching kids play in the fountains and ate our Jell-O.
Then our amazing friends Tom and Emily took us out to dinner. We always have a blast whenever we are with them. It was a good mood lightener. After dinner I dropped Jordon off at the hotel he had to stay at. We tried to keep our good-byes short and sweet with as little tears as possible but that didn't happen.
I cried the whole way home of course. I still can't believe he is going to be gone for 7 months.
1 day down!
Ellie came into my bed last night and slept with me. She kept saying Daddy in her sleep. I hope I can keep her busy enough to distract her.
I'm so proud of Jordon. He is such an amazing person to sacrifice so much for his family. I love you Jordon Emery. I'll see you soon.

Go Figure.

2010-05-26T18:04:00.000-07:00

So basically, I got laid off. Friday is my last day of work. I kind of saw it coming cause they were way slow, I really don't understand why they hired me in the first place.
But yeah, I'm a little upset cause I was finally getting the hang of things and not crying myself to sleep everynight before work. Ha kidding...sort of.
I was really starting to like it. But what do ya do.. Maybe I'm not suppose to work after all. They told me if they start getting busy again then they want to hire me back but we will see.
mehhh

St. George

2010-05-25T19:47:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Jordon Ellie and I went down to St. George to spend some time together as a family before Jordon leaves.
It was very much needed.
Thanks Moms and Dads for making it happen. We love you so much!

It was soooooo much fun. I got to see some of my old friends from school and catch up. It was really good to see them. My friend Samantha Beardall is a photographer an AMAZING one, and she took our family pictures while we were down there. She is such a sweetheart and has the cutest little baby girl ever. The pictures turned out amazing and I can't thank her enough for doing them. You have to go to her blog and see her work. feelslikehomephotography.blogspot.com

If you ever need and pictures taken she is your gal. I promise you wont be dissapointed.

Also while we were down there we took Ellie to see the new Shrek movie. She loved it! I thought for sure she would start to get antsy half way through the movie but she sat through the entire thing and watched it. She still talks about it. It was so much fun.

Other than that we just went swimming and relaxed. I had so much fun, I hope Jordon and Ellie enjoyed it as much as I did. When I actually lived in St. George I absolutely hated it, now I love it. Isn't that how it always is? Jordon doesn't like St. George very much, he hates the heat. He has to be around the snow. Which I'm not a big fan of. I think that is the one thing that me and Jordon completely disagree on.

I will put pictures up later I just wasn't in the mood to upload my camera!

New Kid On The Block

2010-05-19T21:22:00.000-07:00

Yet another goat has been born at the good ol' Kinsman orchard.

This is Gigi's new baby boy!

His name is either Gerald, or Arthur. Jordon is so indecisive.

He is pretty stinkin' cute..

We have a grand total of SIX goats!

Ha Jordon's parents love our guts.

Now... in two months. Who wants to buy one?!

Vacation Time

2010-05-17T15:55:00.000-07:00

Before Jordon leaves we are going on a lil' trip to St. George this Saturday so we can spend some time together. My parents got us a condo. I am so excited! Who doesn't get excited for a vacation? Especially if you live with your parents, and are never, ever alone.

WOO

I hope this week goes by as fast as the last week.

BTW work is going good. Last week was my first week. It is very scary sometimes. But I work with some pretty nice dentists so they don't get to angry with me... Tomorrow I start my first twelve hour shift. Wish me luck cause I'm sure going to need it!