Wednesday, February 23, 2011


I have about a million and one things going through my head right now.  But have zero words to truly describe what I am feeling.
First test-positive. What the? No way, thats defiantly a false positive.
Second test-positive. Your Joking! Your kidding. Nope I don't believe you.
Third test- positive. These are all lies I know it.
When I took the first test I just busted up laughing. Really? Seriously? Ok Ok I get it your just messing with me I know. HA HA HA.
What the heck?! I am just so at a loss for words.
Alright alright let me start at the beginning.
While Jordon was at AIT we threw around the idea of having another baby soon. We never actually started 'trying' we just didn't prevent anything. When Jordon finally came home from AIT we decided we didn't want to start trying until we found out when he would deploy, so we started preventing. Well shortly after moving Jordon found out that he would most likely be deployed in the fall, so we both decided that right now is defiantly not the right time.
Obviously Heavenly Father laughed at this little plan of ours.
Yesterday after taking a shower I noticed that my chest was looking extra fantastic lately. Including insane tenderness, but I was due for ms. period the next day actually so I figured that was the cause. After cleaning up some things in our room I found a pregnancy test from when ya know there was actually more of a chance that I could be pregnant. I thought to myself I should just use it as a joke, we aren't going to need this for a long time and by then it probably wont be any good so I might as well get my use out of it now right?
I take the test and wait. While I'm waiting I think oh my heck wouldn't that be hilarious if it said I was pregnant?! Ah man I would laugh so hard..

I wait for Jordon to come home from work, dying of anticipation. I text him and tell him I need to have chat with him as soon as he gets home. Of course he thinks its something terrible, so he is all worried.
When he gets home I tell him to close his eyes and then I hold out the test in front of him. His reaction.
Yeah lets run to the store and get some more tests because I don't believe that.

Well sure thing.  They are a big fat POSITIVE.
Really it hasn't hit me. I certainly don't feel pregnant. I still don't believe it.

The irony of it is, is that right before I took that test I was going to write a blog about how Ellie has been so difficult lately and I couldn't even imagine raising 2 kids right now.
Que Gods laughter in the background.
Oh yeah and I told Jordon that if I had another baby close to winter again he would lose his manhood.
More laughter.

I just don't think its in Jordon and I's cards to have a baby at a convenient time.

So now we have a wee lil one due in October, the month that Jordon is scheduled to deploy.
I'm hoping and praying that something will change. Maybe Obama will actually be telling the truth and really start pulling troops out of Afghanistan in July. Or maybe for some reason they will hold off on deploying his brigade for awhile, So my husband wont miss out on his second babies first year of life.
Knowing that there is a very good chance that I can be raising two kids on my own is absolutely terrifying to say the least.

But all craziness aside, I'm already madly in love with this baby. I'm already anxiously awaiting his/her arrival. Ellie is going to be an amazing big sister and I can't wait to watch them together.

I'm freakin pregnant.

I wrote this back in January when we found out. Basically, I'm still shocked. But defiantly feeling a lot more pregnant. Ellie is so excited, she can hardly wait. Every night at bedtime she has to give the baby hugs and kisses. Everyday she asks if the baby is coming out yet.
We are super excited for this lil baby and can't wait to meet him/her!!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Day 10: A Childhood Memory

I was crazy when I was a wee lil one.
I remember when I was about 4 years old my sister started dating her future hubbs. I basically was always just in my undies and a t-shirt. Whenever my sister's boyfriend would come over and see me in my undies he would  always say "AH I can't see your undies or I will go to jail!"
So I took this and ran with it.
One time I was laying on the couch in my awesome barbie undies and he came over. I yelled out, " HEY LOOK!" and he looked and I laughed and said, "HA your going to jail!"
Every one always teases me about that.
I was basically awesome whateve.
I wish I had a picture of me when I was little on my computer BUT I don't sorry!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Day 9: My Beliefs

I believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I believe that families can be together forever.
I believe that God has a plan and everything happens for a reason.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Day 8: A Moment

A moment in my life that by far tops all other moments in my life is when I gave birth to Ellie Ruth.
I had no birth plan, no this and this has to be a certain way, no expectations. 
In ways I'm glad that was how it was. I just went with the flow.
But I do wish I would have documented everything better. 
It was just Jordon and my sister in the room.
There was such an amazing feeling floating in the room.
I wasn't scared or worried, just soo excited to finally meet her. 
When she finally came out and I met my baby girl for the first time, ah the feeling is indescribable.
I knew the instant I saw her Heavenly Father sent her to us for a very special reason.
Giving birth is such an amazing experience that no one should ever take for granted.
I love my little miss Ellie, and whenever I am having a bad day or upset I always just replay the day over and over in my head and it helps remind me how amazingly blessed I am.

Day 7: My Best Friend

Well of course my most bestest friend ever is my husband Jordon Kinsman.
He is the funnest person to be around. He always knows how to make me laugh. He likes to have 'pig-out' nights with me. He LOVES beating me at things and proving me wrong (rare occurrence) and we both think its hilarious.
He is just basically a fun guy and I get to spend all my time with him!

And my sisters are of course my best gal pals. They are always there for me, and helped me through every yucky thing.

And for a best friend that isn't related and basically forced to spend time with me would have to be miss Cicely.
I love her guts. She is the best. Whenever we are together we literally talk the ENTIRE TIME. There is never a quiet moment. She is ok with being mature with me when we have to be and loves being immature with me when we get to be. She was also the only friend that stuck around after I got married and had a baby, and that says a lot about her character because friends that I really thought would be there for me forever suddenly dropped off the face of the planet as soon as I got pregnant.

It's nice to have true genuine friends, they are few and far between.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Day 6: My Day

My Sunday was just like any other Sunday.
Woke up, showered, went to church.
Came home, made some din din, took a 3 hour nap.
Now we are chillin watchin the laaame superbowl.

Day 5: Your Definition of Love

My definition of love. Whew that's a tricky one.
Well I think it starts with someone caring for you unconditionally.
When it doesn't matter how loud they snore at night, that their outfit totally doesn't match, and that they pick their nose a little much.
No matter how retarded that joke was they told you, you laugh uncontrollably anyways.
You can completely be yourself around them.
When your willing to do something uncomfortable just so they don't have to.
You hurt when they hurt.
When you are truly willing to risk everything you have for that person.

There is so much more that love means to me, but I just completely suck at expressing that type of stuff.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Day 4: What you ate today

Breakfast: Strawberry Banana Smoothie
Snack: Wheat thins and cottage cheese mmmm..
Lunch: Greek Salad. 
Dinner: Spicy Garlic Chicken wings with cheesey potato wedges from Buffalo Wild Wings
Fridays always seem to be the day you eat the best, and you like how I totally canceled out my healthy eating with dinner.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Day 3: Parents

Ooooh the lucky parentals that got to raise me :D  (i hope you can sense my sarcasm.)
Brenda and Stuart.

If my parents see that I put this picture on here they are totally going to kill me.
Good thing I live in New York now! hahahahahahahahhahahah
ah They love me so much.

All joking aside my parents are pretty awesome. I mean they did raise 7 kids so they must be a little crazy. But that makes them fun.
They sacrificed a lot for all of us kids.
I owe them a lot. They didn't totally disown me when I got pregnant at 17 and they even let my crazy little family move in their home for a year.

My Dad is stinkin hilarious, and makes the most delicious Sunday dinners and the best guacamole.
All of us kids knew that if we ever needed anything we could always go to him.
He is an awesome grandpa. Him and Ellie got really close while we were living with them and it totally broke my heart to take her away.
My mom bakes the most delicious cinnamon rolls, and according to Jordon the best oatmeal raisin cookies. (I hate raisins)
My mom always told us how it was. Whenever me and my sister wanted to know if we looked good in an outfit or something we would always tell each other, "Go ask mom she will tell you the truth." 
My mom is also really good at spoiling her grand kids. Ellie got away with way to much when she was around her. Ellie even had a special candy drawer just for her in my parents bedroom.

I love their guts.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Day 2: First Love

My first love will be my love for eternity.
Jordon Emery.
Yes I had boyfriends before I met Jordon but I can honestly say I didn't love them.
I don't really understand why people think it is so weird when people get married young.
Doesn't everyone hope and pray that they can find that one person they can spend forever with?
Some people just get lucky and find them early in life.
I got extremely lucky.
There is no doubt in my mind that Jordon and I will be together forever.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

30 Day Challenge

I have seen a lot of people do this 30 day challenge and I have been extremely bored lately and nothing really to blog about so I figured I would join the crowd!!
Here is the breakdown-
Day 01: Introduce yourself
Day 02: Your first love
Day 03: Your parents
Day 04: What you ate today
Day 05: Your definition of love
Day 06: Your Day
Day 07: Your Best Friend
Day 08: A moment
Day 09: Your beliefs
Day 10: A childhood memory
Day 11: Your siblings
Day 12: Whats in your bag
Day 13: This week
Day 14: What you wore today
Day 15: Your dreams
Day 16: Your first kiss
Day 17: Your favorite memory
Day 18: Your favorite birthday
Day 19: Something you regret
Day 20: This month
Day 21: A physical feature you love
Day 22: Something that upsets you
Day 23: Something that makes you feel better
Day 24: Something that makes you cry
Day 25: A first
Day 26: Your fears
Day 27: Your favorite place
Day 28: Something that you miss
Day 29: Your aspirations
Day 30: 5 confessions about you
Day 1: Introduce yourself
Why HELLO! My name is Amanda Caitlin Kinsman, maiden name Welch.
I am currently 20 years old turning 21 March 1st.
I am married to Jordon Kinsman and have a beautiful baby girl named Ellie who is 3 years old.
We have a toy australian shepherd named Ardie.
I am residing in Fort Drum, NY and as of right now I rather enjoy it. 
I guess that pretty much sums it up, yeah?

 Picture complements of my amazing photographer Ellie Ruth. Its pretty much the only picture I have of myself so I figured I would brighten your day with it.