Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Never a Dull Moment

Yesterday while I was doing some laundry Ellie was playing on my bed. As I was walking past my doorway I heard a loud CRACK. Just thinking about that noise makes my stomach hurt.
Ellie was screaming and grabbing her face and I put her head up to my chest to comfort her. I got her to move her hands away from her face and there was blood everywhere. I thought for sure she broke her nose.
I think what she tried to do was belly flop on to the pillows and went just a little to far and smacked the side of her nose and cheek right on the corner of our headboard.
I took her into the bathroom and had her tilt her head back while I held the washcloth on her nose. Her nose swelled instantly and she had a nice red line going across her cheek and nose, with a little cut along the line of her nostril.
My mom came in to help while I grabbed the phone to call her doctor.
I never know what to do in those situations so I figure now that we have good insurance I will just take her into the Doctor. I would rather be safe than sorry.
The doctor got me in right away. After promising Ellie that she wasn't going to get a shot she gave in and we headed to the doctor.
The doctor took a look at everything and said she was to swollen to be able to tell if it was broken or not. He said it is extremely hard for little kids to brake their nose and it rarely happens. But when the swelling goes down and her nose looks crooked or she is breathing weird then I should bring her back in.
She hasn't been acting like its bugging her or anything, so thats good. She is still extremely swollen, I think she is more swollen than she was yesterday.

I let her get donuts to make her feel better. That's whats all over her face. Ellie is a picker and keeps picking her cut. ugh.
We defiantly have been blessed with Ellie. She has never had any super serious injuries. When she was learning to walk she hit our shelves and bit all the way through her lip and I took her to urgent care but didn't need any stitches or anything.  Kids are crazy. My sister said it perfectly, "If they aren't making your heart drop they are talking back to you, and you enjoy every second."

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Enjoying Every Second

Our flight left at 7:55 a.m Wednesday morning, I woke up at a bright and early 4 a.m. With absolutely no trouble. Every second was filled with anticipation.

I couldn't believe I was actually going to see him!
When I got on the plane I was pretty nervous. I'm not big on flying.
But no worries I didn't even cry!!!
Ellie got to sit next to the window and was so excited when we started moving. She looked out the window the whole time. Until we took off and the plane turned so you could see the ground. She got pretty nervous and made me wrap my arms around her and said, "Don't let me fall!"

But for the rest of it she did just fine, and actually enjoyed it.
I did too. I don't think I will be as nervous to go by myself next time.
The condo we stayed at was absolutely gorgeous! 

This is what we got to look at when we stepped onto our balcony. I was sad we were only staying for three days. I would love to visit there again some day. Sooo pretty.
Although Missouri is full of crazy bugs, and gigantic spider webs EVERYWHERE. Doug my father in law almost ran over a turtle and a possum. It was interesting. haha
Our condo was 50 miles from Fort Leonard Wood. Oh my goodness I could hardly sleep Wednesday night. I woke up at 5:00 (4:00 Utah time) the next morning to get ready to see my husband! My father in law swears I woke up at 3:00 but I swear I didn't. 
When the time finally came to start heading to the Bakers Theater I couldn't believe it. While we were walking up to the building people that had their graduation earlier that day were meeting with their families and that's when the tears started. I was going to see him it just a few minutes! Ah it felt like a dream.
The graduation ceremony was very nice. I was sitting at the end of the aisle and across the aisle was were everyone that was graduating was sitting. Jordon was sitting a few rows back from us. They were not allowed to look over at you or wave or speak or anything. I'm sure Ellie made that super hard for Jordon. She kept looking back at him and trying to look all cute for him and blowing kisses at him and saying, "Daddy! Come get me!" I had to hold her back from going over to him. It was so cute. 
After the graduation we finally got to be with him. AHH best feeling ever!
Ellie was so concerned about Daddy not having any hair. She kept saying, "Daddy you need to get your hair back! Its all gone!" She even got so upset about it she started crying. But we let her rub his head and play with it and she wasn't so worried anymore. The first thing Ellie tells everyone about her dad is that he has no hair!

We got to be with Jordon from 12:00 until 8:00, so we took him back to the condo and got some frozen custard on the way there. Mmmm it was delicious.
Jordon savored every bite. Its been awhile since he had something like that. 
For the rest of the day we just sat, relaxed, and enjoyed each others company. Ellie had to have Daddy's attention at all times. She kept telling him she wanted to dance for him so we turned on the radio and she put on a little recital for everyone. Of course Ellie was on her best behavior for her dad, listened to every word he said and ate all of her dinner for him. 
Oh my goodness I loved watching them together. Jordon is such a good Dad. 
The whole time I was with him I had to be touching him at all times to make sure he was really there. I was a freak really. ha ha But he said he loved it so no worries. 
The day went so fast and it felt like we were only together for a second, but it was so worth it. I defiantly think that being with him again made it harder for me but I would do it again in a second of course. I am so proud of him. He is defiantly making the most of this experience and giving it his all. When he got to Georgia they gave him all weekend off basically, and I told him, "Well that's good now you can just rest and take a break." Jordon said, "No I don't want to rest I want to get to work so I can be with you again." 
ugh, I can't even describe it. I am just so proud of him and the man that he has become. He is an amazing person and I am extremely lucky to have him as my husband.

He gets a lot of time off for his AIT. He goes to school until 4 and then has the most of the day to himself including weekends. He hasn't started school yet. He doesn't think he will start for another week. He said he has so much freedom its scary, he doesn't know what to do with himself. 
He has his phone with him for good now and we have been talking non stop. I feel so spoiled! 
I'm going to try and visit him soon. Maybe for Labor day weekend because he gets 4 days off, but we aren't sure. But when I do go to visit him we will be doing some apartment shopping because me and Ellie will hopefully be joining him in Georgia!!!!!! I'm so excited. Augusta is the closest town to Fort Gordon, its only ten minutes away. I have been looking stuff up about it since I have gotten home. It looks soo beautiful, and rent is pretty cheap. I already have a list of apartments to look at. I hope we can really do this cause it would be amazing! 
It would be crazy but a fun adventure. I'm ready for some adventures in my life!
I can't wait!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Ready to Roll

Almost there!
  • After a fun day of spending some time with my bestest friend Cicely and shopping for a cute top to wear when I see Jordon
  • trying on that top with about 5 different pairs of pants to see which looked absolutely perfect
  • picking out every single item of clothing for me and Ellie to wear for our little trip
  • making sure that every piece of laundry is clean
  • scrubbing down Ellie's car seat
  • making the perfect list of everything I need to bring with us
  • planning out little activities that can keep Ellie busy on the airplane
  • making sure my camera battery is fully charged
  • a brief moment of anxiety of 'oh my heck I have to fly on an airplane, I hate flying. What if this happens, this, this, or this.'
  • a nice early visit from Aunt Flo just in time to join us on our trip
  • breathe, I'm going to see my husband after 10 weeks!
Ok we are ready to go!!!!!!!! I'm so excited. I have wanted to make sure I have everything absolutely perfect so I wont have anything to stress me out when I finally get my moment to be with Jordon. I just want to enjoy this trip stress free so I can concentrate on my family being together. It feels like I haven't seen Jordon in FOREVER. It just doesn't even feel real that I'm actually going to see him on THURSDAY!!!
I know there is a chance of him not being able to spend very much time with us but whatever we get will be so worth it. I'm so excited to see Ellie's reaction when she sees her daddy again. It makes me wanna cry just thinking about it. She is so excited to see him. She is also super excited to fly on an airplane! Every time she sees one in the sky she yells out, "AIRPLANE! I'M GOING ON ONE OF THOSE TO SEE MY DADDY!" She is cute. I think it will be a super fun trip.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The hardest thing for me while Jordon has been gone has been the one thing I thought would be the easiest.
Being a mother to Ellie.
There have been times that I just would sit in my room and cry, feeling like the worst mother. Ellie is the most beautiful girl in the world and I love her more than life itself, I would give anything for her.

As of right now, I am seriously considering permanent birth control.

Ellie has had so much anger. She punches everything in sight. She thinks it's the greatest thing in the world to tell me no and throw tantrums in public. She absolutely refuses to go to nursery. Every time I try to get her to sleep in her own bed, she cries until she vomits, even if I'm laying in her bed with her. She screams for her daddy when she gets in trouble. Tells me she hates me and says she doesn't want me anymore.
At first I was just like pff whatever Ellie. But now, its wearing on me. It breaks my heart.
I might as well forget about taking her with me to go out with friends. I'm sure she has been a good advocate for celibacy.
I have had many many chats with her about keeping her hands to herself, saying nice words, and obeying the adults.
I send her to her room, take away cartoons, send her to the corner, whatever. But nothing seems to work. I don't even know what to do. Being a momma is a lot harder than I expected.
She is a stubborn stubborn girl. She takes after her mother way to much. Yeah I said it, zip it.
The hardest thing for me is that I know she is acting like this cause her dad isn't around. It kills me to know that it is affecting her like this. Don't get me wrong she defiantly had her moments when Jordon was here, but she has taken it to a whole new level.   I cant help but think where did my sweet baby Ellie go? The one that just wanted to snuggle you all day and didn't know how to yell at you? She learned out to walk and talk. That's what happened.
Ellie and I are working on it though and I'm not going to give up. It's just another hurdle in this thing called life and we are going to conquer the crap out of it.

Monday, August 9, 2010

X Infinity.

There is no better part of the day than when the mail comes. Ahh, I'm obsessed. It feels like Christmas.
Of course only on the days that I receive a beautiful letter from a certain PVT KINSMAN.
I have a whole routine.
Usually I have a letter that I send out just about every day, so that little flag stands up patiently awaiting for the mail man to whisk that letter away to its final destination. That little flag also helps me out so I don't have to walk to the mail box ten times a day to see if anything has arrived yet. Which I find myself doing every time.

Then the mail arrives.
I slowly walk to the mail box. (Don't want to look to desperate) Take out that beautiful stack of mail. Walk back to the house as I look through it eagerly. When I do receive that letter, I smile, and participate in a little dance the rest of the way to the door. Oh but I don't open it right away. First I sort out everyone's mail. Then I look through any other mail I might have gotten. Then I walk upstairs into my bedroom, close the door, lay on my bed and look at that letter just a little longer. Ahh I savor every second. I drink in the anticipation of what he might say in this letter. Then very carefully I open it up and take my time reading every word, and then read it once more.
I love his letters.
Jordon was never that romantic. But every letter that he has sent me has said the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. Every time I have a hard time with something the next letter I get from him will say exactly what I needed to hear.

It's because we are meant to be my friends.

These letters will be something that I will always cherish. I'm keeping these babies forever.
Not only because he says the sweetest things in them but also because he says things like, I will never have to change another diaper, or clean the dishes ever again. So yes, they will be great to pull out when I just don't feel like doing a chore that day. HA HA
I'm teasing, sort of.
I love how much our relationship has grown these past two months. I think Heavenly Father had many different motives of why Jordon needed to join the Army, and bringing us closer must be one of them. I have a whole new love for him. I didn't think I could love him any more than I already did before he left, but it defiantly has grown more than I could have ever imagined.

On Sunday Jordon called and let me know that he passed his Final PT test with flying colors!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't be more proud of him!!!! I knew he was going to rock it. Now he just needs to make it through 10 more days and he will be finished with basic training. HE'S SO CLOSE!!!  I'm so stinkin proud of him and I love his guts!!!

(super duper old picture of us while we were dating. We were extremely attractive. obviously) 

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Accept it, Learn From it.

I'm not going to lie and say these last 8 weeks have just breezed by. I have gone through a range of emotions. I honestly, truly thought I could handle this with no problem, just a walk in the park. Yeah, farthest thing from it.
It sucks to not have your best friend there. Jordon is the only one that truly understands my craziness. He would always let me dump everything on him. So that is where this blog comes in. Ha.
I have had many moments where I just wanted to say, "OK that was fun, time to come back home now. I can't do this anymore."
But of course, that wouldn't exactly work. It feels like someone ripped out my heart and I'm waiting for its return.
On Sunday Jordon gets to call sometimes. I have so gratefully received one just about every Sunday. I love letters, they are all romantic and cute. But there is nothing like hearing that voice you are so madly in love with.
Through this experience I have truly realized how much I have taken for granted. It's sad that something like this has to happen to realize it.
On Monday Jordon had his final PT test. This test will determine if he graduates from Basic Training or if he has to go through it all again.  Unfortunately I probably wont find out how he did until I get that beloved phone call on Sunday. I have been a little stressed about it, but I know he rocked it. He has been workin his tooshie off.
I hate not being able to be there to cheer him on and show him my support.
My last Sunday phone call Jordon told me his Drill Sargent told them they would get deployed to Iraq within the first year. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach. Through this whole process I wouldn't let the thought of him being deployed even enter my head. Of course I knew it would happen, but him just saying it made it that more real. Its only been 2 months, I can't even imagine how its going to be for a whole year.
But the deed is done, there is nothing I can do about it. I just have to accept it and hope this experience makes us a stronger couple.
On the upside only two more weeks until I get to go see him!!! I have never been more excited about anything in my life!
Ah I love how he is kissing me in this picture. Gives me butterflies.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Wake Up

It seems to never fail when you finally feel like you can breathe a sigh of relief, and get use to this routine, something comes up behind you and smacks you on the butt. Hard. 
Just a friendly reminder of, "HEY! Life will never be easy."